The Chinese Yakuza

Bizarre dreams 3

It starts with me waking from a nap. I feel weak. I don't feel like talking or moving, not even the slightest bit.

I'm 12, and I'm autistic.

I just sit around watching other people, usually my family, doing whatever they do, occassionally giving me a little bit of attention. Till I fall asleep again.

I wake up, in this 24-year-old body. Back to my punch-drunk life, back to my dead-end job.

This life I'm living could be just the dream of an autistic kid. Goes on and on, like episodes of a soap opera. If that's the case.

Man.

What a dream!

Bizarre dreams 2

I was flying in Sherlock Holmes costume, without the pipe and magnifying glass.

I had a polaroid camera, loaded with infinite number of polaroid films.

Snapping shots of the landscape like there was no tomorrow.

And the farmers shouted, "It's raining polaroids!".

Bizarre dreams 1

In some of my dreams, I have this extremely long left leg.

Happens quite often.

It kinda suck, because its not easy to walk properly.

All emotions are pain

cause Buddha said so.

And so it is.

Night Train Express

When life turns sour,
I know where to hide,
I'll buy a ticket,
a ticket to ride,
the Night Train Express,
takes me to places,
away from worries,
away from sorrows,
for just one night.

The next day I'll find,
an empty bottle,
a broken soul,
lying right next to all my troubles.

I'll deal with them,
reluctantly,
while I impatiently wait,
for the next train to come,
to either hit me in the face,
or take me for a ride.

Flow my tears

Flow, my tears, fall from your springs!

Exiled for ever, let me mourn;

Where night's black bird her sad infamy sings,

There let me live forlorn.

- John Dowland

M�quina Del Tiempo De Uno Segundos

That's mexican/spanish for "The One Second Time Machine". An idea presented in Michel Gondry's "The Science of Sleep", a gift the protagonist gave to his love interest, a time machine which is capable of travelling one second back in time, and of course, one second into the future. Lots of people will automatically render it useless, due to its limitations. But, I think otherwise.

I was listening to some songs I listened to a couple years ago, bloody nostalgic, it made me pick up a lot of memories which I've placed aside, which I hardly reminisce, but have not forgotten. I figured how lucky I was back then, carefree and blissful, and optimistic to say the least. I wish those moments I could freeze, so I could spend eternity in that point of time.

That's where "The One Second Time Machine" kicks in, if I have one of those back then, I'll just place it by my side, and when it reaches that very moment I want to keep forever, I'll flick the switch to rewind one second, wait for a second, then flick the switch again, and wait for another second, and then flick the switch again, and so on.

Unfortunately, back then, I didn't have that machine, and sad to say, I still don't. So, I still live my life following a linear timeline, boring as hell, just like everyone else.

The Everlasting Wait

Waiting for the water heater to heat up in the morning. Waiting for that bloody car in front to move the hell out. Waiting for lunch. Waiting for 6 o'clock. Waiting for fridays. Waiting for the weekends. Waiting for payday. Waiting for Oktoberfest. Waiting for a chance to break out of all these 9 to 5 bullshit. Waiting for my wounds to heal. Waiting for that girl Jacques Brel sang about in "Bachelor's Dance". Waiting for my turn for happiness. Waiting to age. Waiting for that moment, to look back in life and sigh. Waiting for death. Waiting for eternity.

How I wish the bible was true. Accept christ, sin a little, confess a little or shed some goat's blood, and you're back on track, guranteed spot in heaven for eternal happiness, no catch! Ok, you might have to share the neighbourhood with bunch of crummy chrisitians, but that's the end of it.

Unfortunately, at this rate, having Buddhism proving itself over and over again, it seems like everything is in favour of nihilism. Nihilistic like hell, my life has been. And, paradoxically ironic, the only certainty I have in life is the waves of uncertainty it has to offer.

So, all I have to do now, is wait.

I feel so bloody contented.

My friend told my story to his supervisor at work, the corporate ladder climbing type of supervisor, my story of slacking for 5 months, doing nothing at all, or rather spending 5 months re-evaluating my life, or at least using that as an excuse for 5 months of unemployment.

"He is wasting his youth, wasting his time", so the supervisor responded.

Someone I used to trust, alot, asked me how am I doing. I told her, Great, cause I've been slacking like hell for the past 5 months, doing nothing, absolutely nothing at all.

"You're wasting your life", so she said.

So here I am, every morning, partying with bunch of carbon dioxide generating monsters who're barely travelling at 20 kmph, squeezing my way to the office, nod to the security guard who never nods back, punch my card and occassionally forgetting to do so, receive a call from the bloody warehouse, so I can provide them with a daily dose of technical support.

And then I thought to myself.

"Hey, at least I'm not wasting my life anymore!"

Great.

Would you have swum so hard at the beginning, if you knew how its gonna end? Ya know what i mean.

Luke kept telling me its down the road, not across.

I say what's the difference?

Unless you go across, then down the road.

If you do it right, you might even have a chance in heaven.

Tribute to the Crazy Diamond

Syd Barrett is the subject of two of Pink Floyd''s greatest tracks, "Wish You Were Here" and "Shine On You Crazy Diamond". Revolutionized the progressive rock scene with incredibly brilliant classics like "Interstellar Overdrive" and "See Emily Play", leaded the band till their debut album were released, then suffered from schizophrenia, made it worse when he started taking LSD excessively. At gigs, he would play the same note over and over again, and sometimes he''ll just walk away leaving his band members on stage not knowing what to do. His erratic behaviour soon became the reason his bandmates decided not to pick him up for one of the gigs and replaced him with Dave Gilmour. He tried a couple of solo albums and flopped, eventually became too much of a nutcase to be a rockstar. He completely retreated from his music carreer to live with his mother at cambridge and became an avid gardener.

In 2002, a documentary about him was shown on TV, and he watched it at his sister''s place. He enjoyed "See Emily Play" but found the other tracks to be too noisy. As if it wasn''t him who wrote and performed those songs.

He lived with his mum for almost 30 years till he dies in 2006.

Tribute to Dick

Philip K. Dick, one of the greatest writers of our time, his stories usually involve paradoxical ironies true to our lifes, reflect the incompetence of our society through the use of distant future setups, and often question our shallow perception of reality. He lived in poverty all his life simply because science fiction writers were not taken seriously during his time. Ate dog food because he couldn't afford human meals. Was an amphetamine user, indirectly influenced the nature of his stories, helped his productivity in writing, and caused his stroke.

A genius, so fucking brilliant, years ahead of his time, was neither acknowledged nor understood during his lifetime, till "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" was made into a Hollywood feature widely known as "Blade Runner". Unfortunately, he died a couple of months before the film was released.

Gothic, so they say

Can't get enough of

Crash and burn

My hard drive crashed last night, virtually everything I did for the past 6 years, is gone.

It's amazing how easy you can create with computers, yet how similarly easy you can lose them.

I wasn't too sad afterall.

It's funny how you can wash away the pain for losing 6 years of work with just a bottle of Heineken.
�
Suddenly, everything seems so hysterical.

Twinkle twinkle little bintang

So, I walked into the same ol' seven eleven, straight to the frigde where the Bintangs were supposed to be, but none were there. Life is utterly dissapointing, makes you wonder.

I should have known. Before I headed back to ipoh, I searched high and low for Bintang, visited about 4 seven elevens, but no luck, Soke Ling was crazy enough to join the adventure, cause she wanted to buy me Bintang for xmas, she didn't but thanks for the effort.

That's how life is, Bintang's my favourite, it's not the best beer on earth, but that's how things go, you don't have to fall in love with the best, everyone loves jessica alba, but I bet your friends wouldn't help you distract the reporters so you could seduce her with tiger beer. Bintang, I don't really care if it is brewed under tight supervision of beer specialists, what I like about it is its fermented aftertaste, which is possibly caused by poor quality control. That's how love is, you fall for the most ridiculous things.

People kept telling me, "Don't despair, you'll get someone better, eventually", like beer, the problem is not that I get better or not, it's just not the same, its Bintang I want, not a multi-million-dollar campaign ad driven drink.

So, I grabbed a heineken, a mainstream favourite, meant to be one of the best, brad and jeniffer were paid to drink it, and they broke up, did they get someone better? I don't know, but I didn't like it, it's just not what I wanted, I want my fermented Bintang.

Have I found my heineken in life? do I want to? The answers' probably no.

Maybe I should consider moving to Bali, for Bintang's sake.

2006 Recap

Nothing much, more or less like last year, probably worse.

Unless miracle happens before new year, which is highly unlikely.

Get to know us better

Mr. Inhibition

Responsible for keeping the body alive
Dominates the left hemisphere
Optimistic, cheerful, friendly, ambitious
Writes codes, loves gadgets, admires technology, drives fast, listens to Eminem
Sensitive towards females, and tries to date attractive ones
Good at moving on in life
Works hard, plays hard
Has been missing for months

The Crazy Bastard

Responsible for comforting the soul
What hemisphere?
Emo, depressed, pessimistic, anti-social, lazy, violent
Draws, loves Philip K. Dick, Takeshi Kitano, listens to Pink Floyd, Oasis and Jazz
Doesn't give a shit
Dwells in sorrow
Alchoholic, slacks hard
Posted this entry

In perfect harmony.

Well, sort of.

Eternal pain

Eventually, you'll get used to it.

Jam

After much hoohah, we finally sat down and played in Marvin's room. At first, it was ok, except for how Sir Green Jelly complained about parts of the song he couldn't keep up with, Alicia refused to play with the tupperware set and chopsticks due to our lack of drums unless Marvin starts playing with a broom, and I was mumbling some words which I wasn't able to peep from the lcd display. Eventually things gotten better, Jelly managed to get his bass right, Alicia put down her years of pride in music and started hitting tupperware containers with chopsticks, and I mumbled less words. We managed to play a good ol' Green Day song, as a band, just that Jelly was playing bass on a classical yamaha six-string, Alicia was drumming away on plastic, while I, sang at a hairdryer.

But it certainly felt good.

Favourite hangout

I bought a can of Bintang after watching that lameass andy lau midnight show alone, sometimes you can tell I have no respect for certain people when I refuse to use Caps for their names. I drank half of the Bintang, and Kitty took the other half. It's been 7 days, and I didn't really do it on purpose. Just felt like paying Kitty a visit and just so happens that it's exactly a week after the day I laid mud and sand on her. Come to think of it, I was coming home from a midnight show which I went alone as well on the day I first met Kitty. I'm starting to realise I like hanging out with her a lot, everyday I drive by to check if she's doing fine, sometimes I buy beer so we could share. Probably because, she's the only female friend I feel comfortable hanging out with. Ok, I'm not even sure if she's female, but whatever makes me happy. Luke made her a cross, I doubt she's christian, but that's better than nothing, I laid some rocks on top to make sure the cross stands straight and dogs don't come digging. 3 a.m., bunch of guys in proper working attire walked by, each holding a cigarette, probably not very sober cause I could smell whiskey and coke, they saw me sitting on the park bench, then saw the cross, so they sped up. I stood up and fed the rest of the Bintang to Kitty, told her to have a good rest, then walked home.

Man, I am sick.

Free Refills

Not too long ago, there was a young Indian kid, Raj, chubby, slightly overweight and sweats a lot. He did well in primary school, and automatically the family puts high hopes on him, hoping that he could be the first ever family member to hold a medical degree ever since their ancestors migrated to the country, Raj's grandma was especially concerned about him.

Every afternoon Raj would study in the living room for hours, while the unforgiving sun blazes through the windows and curtains, even when the fan is spinning at full speed, Raj still sweats like no other kid does. Raj's grandma would hold up her handkerchief on her right, patiently wipes off Raj's sweat drops, while she flaps a bamboo fan on her left, delivering cool breeze towards the highly disciplined and concentrating Raj.

Then, things changed. A brand new McDonald's restaurant was built across the streets where Raj stays. Now, every afternoon, Raj and grandma can be found at their favourite table in McDonald's. Raj can finally concentrate on his studies in a much more comfortable environment, while grandma proudly watches her grandchild, imagining how comfortably the family would live once Raj becomes a specialist in bone surgery. Since now her hands are idle, she would buy a large-sized Coca-cola, two straws, and shares the drink with Raj. Thanks to the free refills at McDonalds, whenever the paper cup runs dry, she would quickly refill it at the counter. Needless to say, both of them enjoyed the cool atmosphere as much as the bottomless soft drinks.

As time goes by, Raj gets better grades, and slowly defeats every other kid in school when it comes to academic achievements.Grandma is very proud and glad of what she have done for him, and a couple more years down the road, her dreams will come true. They would perform the routine everyday without failing, be it storm, lighting or rain, nothing could stop the two from attempting to achieve what the family had hoped for since the day they stepped foot onto this country.

Four years later, grandma dies of diabetes, and Raj diagnosed diabetic at the age of 16.

Life grabs you by the balls

First of all, my laptop screwed up again which explains the crappy picture drawn in paintbrush. I'm using my sister's old laptop that has a seriously cracked lcd display, which makes parts of the screen not visible. It sucks but better than nothing at all.

Two months ago, I jokingly told Marvin, "Hey, let's start a band and play some Pink Floyds!", probably not in exact words. Two months later, he found a cute female drummer and Mr Green Jelly Sir became eager to learn the bass. Automatically, I became responsible for the vocals. It's amazing how words you utter and didn't give much thoughts to, suddenly turns into reality in a way you least expect it. It's nice to see how everyone expects so much outta the band, while I remain laid back, waiting for the jamming session to happen, so I can shout at the mic, half sober. The drummer is taking up classes, and doing intensive shopping for her drumsets, while Jelly is semi-hardworking, practicing his bass on his acoustic guitar. Logically, the band doesn't need me, Marvin's vocals are good enough for the mainly punk rock tunes they'll be playing, I'll just see what happens and wait till the band dumps me.

And my suggestion for the band name, "Flying Pajamas", which explains the pixelated paintbrush logo mockup.

Dear Kitty,

I'm sorry, I tried to avoid you, but it was too sudden, I did what I could and I hope you'll rest in peace, I hope the half can of Bintang calmed your soul, I'll bring you more the next time I drink at the park, glad that you moved on to a better place, yeh, I'm sure it is a better place.

Goodbye blue skies

This is what it looks like, outside my window, but I refuse to open the curtains.

So I drew it, just in case I forget.

Reality is cruel

"I am flying, and this is not a dream!", I thought to myself.

Then I wake up.

Logic and rationale kick in.

I realise I can't fly.

I should have known it's a dream.

Cause I was flying around in pajamas.

How sad.

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance's Ex-Husband

That Girl Emily
http://thatgirlemily.blogspot.com/

I came across this blog, and the vandalised BMW caught my attention. Be it a fake, or an authetic log of a hellish revenge , there's two lessons to be learned.

Lesson No. 1: Think twice before you hump her best friend.

Lesson No. 2: Hell, I didn't know you can have so much fun avenging a breakup.

Happy Halloween

Not that I celebrate it, but I hope everyone's happy.

Sense of security

It's a common scene, a girl holding hands with a man three times her age, walking down the streets, that's definitely not her dad, and you wonder, what's the drive behind all this, why? Its the sense of security, cause if the guy dies the next day, it won't be the end of the world, cause she knows she won't starve, her tiffanies and LVs are here to stay, and her 3-tone pink coloured convertible would still go fast enough on those shiny rims, to have her artificial blonde hair sailing along the cool breeze. In fact, she'll probably be happier, cause there'll be no more nagging, and her credit cards ain't supplementary no more. In fact, someone pass me that autopsy report please.

It's weird, all the girls I've met, regardless of their personalities, they've all told me what they wanted, and they all wanted the same thing, and its not me they want, its the sense of security. I hate to say this but, wake up, please, the media brainwashing has gotten into everyone of you, the society we live in is so full of soap opera moral standards, and soap opera are usually written by the ones who failed to make it to the big screens. Why base our standards on a set of rules written by people classified as C grades in their industry?

I think what sense of security means to a lot of people is, a job at one of those forbes 500, a loaded bank account, a 5-star crash test MPV, an Ikea furnished home, lots of happy-go-rucky friends, a gym-franchise membership, and gardening on weekends.

I have none of those. Ok, I have some happy-go-rucky friends, but that's it.

To me, sense of security is simple, I need 'em too, but not as bad as my female friends. Mine is easy, it fits in my hands, made of metal, cold, loaded, and when I point it at someone, they'll agree with whatever I� have to say. If they still don't, I'll pull the trigger to make a hole in the ceiling, it works all the time.

I've always told my friends, Ang Lee was a jobless bum during his younger days, his wife worked her ass to feed the family, while he bums at home, dreaming of becoming a great filmmaker. Now, ask yourself, how come your husband ain't the one winning Oscars? Easy, cause you wanted sense of security.

Oh by the way, I'll be jobless pretty soon.

How often do you see a cynical smile, from an innocent child?

Not very often.

What are you gonna do with your life?

That's the cock question, Luke and I would ask, just to annoy the hell out of each other. It really sucks when everything's gone wrong, and there's nothing I can do about it. It's just like that car with a rear sticker saying "forgive and forget, jesus loves you", parked at the side of the road, blinking its hazard lights, having its tail completely wrecked, and then you see the driver scratching his head looking at the guy who crashed into him, he can't do nuts, cause jesus loves that guy as much as he loves him. No, that's not exactly how I feel, cause I don't forgive and forget, and I don't want to be loved by some guy who died 2000 years ago. But that's close enough.

Anyway, I think the rest of the world is rather fucked. I think the world is filled with idiots, which explains the deepshit we are in, just because everyone is given a chance to vote, doesn't mean everyone's vote has to weight the same, a moron gets one vote, and you get one vote, and we all knew life isn't fair to begin with, why the hell would you want to play fair with a moron. I'll tell you the ideal world of democracy, freedom to kill any politicians that pisses you off, how's that?

I disagree with majority, cause I think there's where the problem began, they're out there just to make your life harder. If you do not agree with me, look at the top grossing movies, they're all brianless flicks for brainless fuckers. I'm sick of all these dumbasses posing around, giving me all sorts of bullshit, and I had to dig through their stinkin thick pile just to take a breath of fresh air. I might not know what I'm gonna do with my life, but, I know damn well what I don't want to do. I don't want to spend my next 20 years sitting in an office, 9 to 5, supervised by a dumbass superior who belongs to the majority, constantly judging me with his jackass standards, and giving me all sorts of shit. I'm through with that, and will leave it to the rest of the world, thanks for taking that bullshit for me, cause I ain't taking it no more.

Be nice

I think we should be nice to others.

Addiction

It's saturday night, there's so much to do, yet so little I feel like doing.

Did a bit of rotoscoping, building up this scene that consists of 210 frames, I did 30+ so far, not too bad that's about 1/7th, except that's only ONE scene, but hey, I'll have all the time in the world to do it soon. Then, I spent the rest of the night reading Twilight Zone episode guides, I'm such a sucker for weird and bizzare stories. Come to think of it, I've been a fan since a kid, watched every single episode of Twin Peaks when they played it on TV bout 15 years ago, and read tons of Philip K. Dick novels, which made me a huge Dick fan. I just love how these stories fuck with your mind, a healthy dose of mind fuck could keep you detached from reality, makes you doubt your existance, and bounces you off the immersion of life. A lethal dosage however, will turn you into a crazy bastard, look at me.

My knees and ankle were injured after sports, since a couple of weeks ago, I thought I could live with that for a while, and was wishing them to recover naturally. Somehow they refused to, so I had no choice but to look for professional help. The bonesetter fixed things for me, but it seemed more serious than I thought.

"No booze, no chinese tea, no cold drinks, no seafood, no duck meat, no bakuteh, no tomyam, no sports."

"2 weeks."

So, here comes the big question, should I choose not to remember?

Consumed and gone

Man, I'm too lazy to mosaic the names.

A little piece of advice, don't chat with me when you're drunk.

Else it'll end up on my blog, cause lately, I lack content.

Nothing much, really

Really, nothing much happened.

Been catching up on a lot of movies lately, still remember those days where I watch at least one everyday, wrote a couple of short reviews, but I posted it all up in friendster cause they have this mechanism for posting reviews. I don't know if I'll copy and paste them over here, we'll see.

Met this girl, who managed to trap herself in between her apartment's main door and main gate, by locking the main door, only to figure that she left her keys in the house while the main gate remains padlocked. She blamed it on a game she was playing then, which distracted her from getting her keys, "a silly little game" she called it, and claimed she's too embarassed to tell me the title cause it's an old game. Later I found out, the silly little game was Theme Hospital, Peter Molynuex should be ashame of himself, for making such an embarassing game.

Been batting a lot more often lately, and catching as well, cause it's free, as long as you have someone to pitch at you. The boss at the batting cage had been luring us to do IT work for him in exchange of free batting time, unfortunately, 3 mmu IT graduates altogether had trouble troubleshooting a network problem, and one of them even calls himself a tech support.

And, am still compensating my missed trip, beer, gin tonic, beer, beer, I must drink my worth which I could have drank in langkawi.

I don't know

I don't know what to expect from life.

I packed my bermudas and beach sandals, loaded up lots of jazzs and pink floyd, made space for my belly and emptied my bladder. All I know, I was looking forward to a long weekend of cheap booze, bikini chicks and cheap booze. I could even imagine myself holding a bottle of sea-water-cooled beer on my right, whlie flicking my left thumb switching between suicidal jazz and good ol' progressive rock, lazing around beaches, occasionally putting down my beer bottle so I can snap photos of bikini girls. I could almost feel the sand, the warm salty breezes, the pleasant view of semi-nudity, the aftertaste of cheap booze. But.

I missed my flight, by 5 minutes.

To be honest I wasn't really dissapointed, cause I am still switching between jazz and rock at home, booze is a lot dearer, but I can still afford it, and that's the only thing I've been drinking to compensate the trip. At least I wasn't as dissapointed as Exiang.

After much pleading and begging at the airport counter, we admitted defeat, then sat down in McD to have something to eat. Exiang was pretty excited bout the trip, don't be fooled by the photo, he might be wearing a Langkawi shirt, but he hasn't been there before, damn proud of being a tourist he is, but isn't.

It's hystherical.

I really don't know what to expect from life, it's just like that Alanis Morrisette song, the taxi driver has to run out of fuel when you're running out of time. And I don't think that's ironic, it's more like dipshit.

By the way, I don't know where to plug this in, a photo of my acting debut.

I hate to say this but the photo reminds me of Sepet, and I have absolutely no idea how the short film's gonna turn out.

I guess uncertainty is all you can expect in life.

Next year, baby

One year, that's exactly how long ago I started this blog, it was out of depression, I was badly in need of a form of expression. and it sorta helped. Now I don't blog as often, not because I'm a happier person, it's just that I have a day job, and sometimes I express myself by slamming a piece of alloy onto a rubber ball, then watch it fly. Lots of rubber balls, i beg your pardon.

Things haven't gotten any better for a long while, as far as I can remember, things went downhill after that car crash. About a year and a half ago, I had this freak accident, my car spun on a pool of grease lying on the side of a bend, which led me wrecking my vehicle's front, then the rear, then the front again. Prior to that I've never had an accident that injured myself nor my car.

I've always thought that the accident was way too weird, I wasn't even travelling fast enough to cause a spin. In order to explain these all-too-weird events, we'll have to refer to the master, Mr. David Lynch. Come to think of it, I could have died from that accident, this could be my Mulholland Drive, this could be hell I'm blogging from.

Happy anniversary, my pathetic blog.

Migraine in the membrane

Instead of suffering from full fetch neurological pain

now there's 50% discount, what a bargain!

M.Sc Psycho

I read this manga on sunday night itself, finished 10 volumes in one night, and am pretty proud of it. It's called MPD Psycho, it's either Multiple Personality Detective or Multiple Personality Disorder, beats me, don't wanna talk too much about it, go check its wiki.

It's very well drawn, and I really mean it, cause manga artwork hardly impresses me. Over the span of 10 volumes, the story turns from a psychological serial murder investigation thriller into a government conspiracy drama, that sucks, its probably a common trap writers would fall into especially when they don't want to end the story. Wasn't very satisfying cause it didnt end at volume 10, 11 is out but has yet to be translated. The gore is pretty awesome, pretty sick for most people's standard, and did I tell you I almost lost my sanity halfway through the manga? Anyway, here's a little sneak preview.

After much reading, I managed to keep myself sane, but I started pondering upon things, like being a Gemini, well known for its nature in possessing multiple personalities. It is kinda unfair for us Geminis to be stereotyped, cause each star sign has its own personality, so there must be at least two for us, I don't know much bout zodiac, but I think thats the way it should have been.

Come to think of it, once in a while you get people who would come up to you trying to be a smart ass by guessing your star sign. None of them smart asses got mine right. Its not easy, I'm kinda Libra at times, a little bit of Scorpio, a little bit of Aquarius, I don't know, I don't quite fit in most of the star signs.

Horoscope is a fucking bull.

Losers Inc.

And I don't wanna talk about it.

My savior

Life is shitty, nevertheless, nothing works for me, and everything took wrong turns, times like these, people would seek destructive means, to end things, for good, or become suicidal, whichever way is more convenient.

I am heading that way, I don't want that, I want to change my life, for good, like that jamie cullum song, where you pay 19.95 and change your life in a week. Unfortunately, he sang about sending him money but never left his address. So, I need to find a way, somehow. I desperately need something I could find comfort in, something I can look forward to, something that could at least change some parts of me.

I found that something, it happens in a cage, requires lots of balls, and is violent in a lot of ways. No, its not WWF cage wrestling. Its called cage batting, meaning baseball batting in a cage, right in front of a machine that pitches balls at you. Sounds like nothing, but thats the one thing that kept me alive.

Ironically, it costs exactly a jug of happy hour beer for 30 minutes of ball whacking. I guess its money well spent afterall, for the amount of workout, rather than alcohol, though I do both together most of the time. Anyway, irony has it again, 6 healthy ball whacking sessions per month costs exactly one month's worth of subscription to gyms. But then, gyms are so full of macho guys, optimism, body hugging attires, lifestyle oriented people, happy-go-rucky, optimism, ipods, successful office ladies coping with their age, optimism, wannabes, starbucks regulars, optimism, ass-kissing personal trainers, sticky wet towels, and last but not least, optimism. Not to mention running on a threadmill makes me feel like a bloody hamster. I think working out in a gym is a fucking bore. Cage batting however is all about isolation, depression, anti-socialism, patheticnes and violence. No one gives a fuck if you wear a proper shirt, complete with slacks, leather shoes and tie to cage batting, its so common, its cliched in japanese dramas, I bet you cant do that in a gym. And you don't get hot chicks whacking balls in the cage next to you, so you don't have to impress them, no one gives a shit if you miss all 200 of them. And best of all, you can have beer while whacking balls, but can you get drunk on a threadmill? No.

You might think I'm fucking kidding you, but cage batting brought a whole new meaning to my life.

Abandoned vehicles

There's a story behind every abandoned vehicle.

They don't slack at the same old place all the time for no reason.

Some of their owners might have migrated, some got murdered, some became rich over night, some commited suicide.

Sometimes, you can more or less tell what happened to their owners.

This one, the owner might have found eternal peace of mind.

Taste buds and life

My taste buds are working fine, I could still differentiate sweet from bitter, salty from sour. However, my nose is bloody conjested with green coloured mucus, and what's worse, I cough like some old man, about to give his final blow in life, on the verge to exhale whatever organs he has along with a splash of blood onto a white piece of something, then collapse on the sidewalk. Coughing aside, that's how I figured the usual misconception of "we taste food with our tongue", as inobservant as I can be, I figured out we actually use the combination of our nose and tongue to pick up the sensation we get from food, not too bad for 23 years of life on earth, I guess. For the entire week, there's only four types of food, bitter, sweet, salty and sour. And that's it, anything similar, I couldn't tell, If I were blind folded, I wouldn't be able to differenciate tea from water, abalone from rubber slippers. I actually quite like it that way.

I don't have to choose what to eat, there's not much bitter stuff around, so that leaves me 3 choices, and sour's for pregnant women, that's 2 left. Hell, that's just so convenient, I don't have to worry about food anymore, I could grab white rice, then add sugar or salt or both. I guess life's like that too, when you don't sense things that well, when you couldn't give a shit anymore, everything's easy, there'll be no more obsession over things. It's like the old saying, "you don't see a blind man torn between two coloured shirts".

Ok, I made that blind man thing up, unfortunately I have no mucus in life, to block my senses, I'm still obsessed over things and people. Life feels like shit, cause I could still smell that stinkin stench of shit. Everything would be better if your tastebud works and your nose doesn't, shit would just taste like, say salted eggs, I don't know, I haven't had any.

My awesome weekend

Just in case you want to be friendly and ask how was my weekend, here's how.

All fourteen of 'em, two years worth of content, in two days. Clever plot they have, perhaps too clever for its own good, and I didn't like the people who won at the end. They released its movie part one in Japan, part two will be out pretty soon, I bet its gonna suck, these things don't translate very well into film.

And no, don't ask me whats it about.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_Note

Losers of a feather flock together 5

Friend : you're not a loser, you're just not as lucky as some rich ass kids dating models in their flashy bmw
me : then what am i? winner?
Friend : no, maybe something in between
me : nah, something in between, thats the last thing i wanna be
Friend : you're just being cynical, like how can you call a grownup who lives in their parents' house a loser?
Friend : i live with my parents and am happy bout it
me : well, all overgrown overweight sweaty guai lo otakus either stay in their parents' basement or their parents' attic
me : and watch hentai there
Friend : if thats the case i matched every single criteria you classified for losers
me : since when I said you're not a loser?
Friend : damn

Losers of a feather flock together 4

mksl_jcfz: hmmmmmmm
mksl_jcfz: interestered in vietnamese ?
mksl_jcfz: 20k and u own her for life
mksl_jcfz: quite pretty lol
cute_dimsum: haha
cute_dimsum: damn
cute_dimsum: since when uve turned pimp?
mksl_jcfz: if u sien wif her d then every 5 years change lor
cute_dimsum: 20k
cute_dimsum: 1 year 4 k only
cute_dimsum: fuck 365 days
cute_dimsum: meaning....10 bucks plus per day
cute_dimsum: quite cheap
cute_dimsum: can work out cardio
cute_dimsum: cheaper than gym
cute_dimsum: can consider
cute_dimsum: hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Taken from dimsumcorner

The darkness of humanity 2

Ruby.

On rails.

Losers of a feather flock together 3

Colleague 1: lunch at ss2
Colleague 2: i'm downed and depressed
Colleague 2: home is a good hideout
Colleague 1: understand
Colleague 2: the furtheest i can travel b4 having strong urge to head home to seek comfort is ss2
Colleague 1: ....

*Note : Colleague 2 stays in SS3

The darkness of humanity

is coming to a convenience store near you.

Losers of a feather flock together 2

Friend 1 : ya know? I think most right handers of our generation, geeks especially, are wanking with their left
Friend 2 : why?
Friend 1 : cause they need their right to operate the mouse
Friend 2 : so true

Losers of a feather flock together

Ju Lian Liew: we use crt
Ju Lian Liew: they use ld
Ju Lian Liew: lcd
Ju Lian Liew: we drive old car
Ju Lian Liew: they hv better car
Ju Lian Liew: that's quality of life lo
exiang: ...
exiang: they fuck pretty gal
exiang: we fuck our hand
Ju Lian Liew: shit

Happiness

It's 6 a.m.

I ran out of beer, and didn't feel like buying any, so I couldn't sleep.

It's tough.

It's real tough.

Much tougher than I thought it would be.

Cause.

What a difference four years makes?

Thirty five thousand and fourty little hours.

She's about two thousand five hundred kilometres away now, yet I still can't figure out the math, of which is further apart, our physical locations, or our hearts.

That's it, three entries summarises it all, don't ask me, I don't feel like talking about it.

Things change too fast, and I cope too slow. I'm fucked.

As far as I can remember, it was the same room, the exact same enviroment, same setup, same furnitures, same lighting, same bed sheet, same pillow case, same cloths, but that's pretty much it, physically, everything seemed to be the same, however, emotionally, nothing remained.

About four years ago, there were passion, lots of hope, firmly constructed upon the promises we made, the vows we took, as much as I can tell, we were happy.

Now, I'm nothing more than a depressive fuck, sad and lonely, desperate for a patch job, while she, strangled and cramped in a cage called relationship, dying to break free.

Passion died, hopes flunked, promises were empty, vows were broken, what's left?

I used to be optimistic, full of joy, full of laughter, now, I'm just full of shit.

I used to be care-free, happy-go-lucky, now, I just hate those two phrases.

I used to be ambitious, now, I just wanna make a living.

I used to be a prick who couldn't cope with all the uncertain changes in life, hoping everything would be the same till the end of time.

Unfortunately, I'm still that prick.

Wonderful

I drive by her house whenever I come home from work, every single day.

I take a quick glance at her room's window, curtain's down, light's out, every single time.

I wonder why.

I wonder if she's asleep.

I wonder if she's out.

I wonder if she still stays there.

I wonder if she sleeps well.

I wonder if she sleeps alone.

I wonder if she has found comfort in life somewhere else.

I wonder if she has found that comfort on another shoulder.

I wonder if she cries on that shoulder.

I wonder if that shoulder felt any better.

I wonder if she regretted.

I wonder if she felt guilty.

I wonder if she thinks of me.

I wonder if she misses me.

I wonder if she even gives a shit.

I wonder if she has forgotten about us.

I wonder if she has forgotten about me.

I wonder if she'll read this.

And I wonder why.

I wonder why.

Optimism

Half empty, or half full?

Everyone else pretending to be optimistic, or just me being cynical?

Shame to geminis

Yesterday night, it was second night of world cup, I felt boring, didn't know what to do, thought of giving hollywood summer popcorn flicks a chance, so I drove all the way to a shopping centre, alone. I didn't know what's showing in cinema, not that I care, so I glanced through the ever so limited list showing on top of the ticket counter, the screen was yellowish and flickering like mad, Omen, Cars, X-men, okay, I just watched the old Omen couple of days ago, so I thought of trying the new one, and told the counter girl to give me a 930 Omen ticket, but somehow she gave me a 915 Cars ticket, so I thought, fuck, nevermind, give me another 1230 X-men. She did it right this time.

Fuck, I just contributed 18 bucks to the hollywood summer fund.

No wonder they score big time in boxoffice.

I was early, an hour to go before the show starts, so I wandered around in the super rundown video arcade, trying out some ancient arcade games, figured out there's this yellow driving test machine, it was minimalist and simplistic but lots of fun, I did extremely well in the braking test and smooth driving where you have to drive with a cup of water without spilling, but sucked at other levels. It's a stand up driving machine, so no left foot braking, and I was a little too tall for the machine, probably it's tailor made for japs.

Then I entered cinema, watched Cars, kids were noisy, show ended, felt hungry, chewed on a hotdog, saw someone I knew briefly, with a new girlfriend, didn't go up to him to say hi, cause I didn't wanna look pathetic, wandered in arcade again for another hour, then entered cinema again, sat down, then the woman with a kid on her lap sitting next to me told me it's reserved, then I checked my ticket, no, I'm right, you're wrong, this is my seat, then her husband came back, with a drink in each hand, so I thought, fuck, I'll look like an asshole if I don't move my ass, so I found this isolated corner seat with no one around, perfect, watched X-men, waited for the credits to end, all alone, then five janitors came in to accompany me while sweeping the floor, then the credits ended, saw the 5 second footage, seemed complete enigma to me, nevermind, came home, and slept.

Woke up the next day, slacked around till afternoon, fixed my car, went for coffee with Rachael, then watched Omen together, and we sat on couple seats. Unfortunately, Rachael's fullname is Rachael Luke, he visits the gents toilet, his crazy grandfather named him Rachael out of no reasons, and we're not gay, meaning we're not homosexuals and we're not happy.

And yeah, I contributed another 10 bucks to hollywood.

Then I came home and started typing out this piece of shit.

People say geminis are highly sociable beings, womanizers with overflowing charm, and should have more friends than friendster could handle, but look at me, my close friends are either anti-social freaks or anti-social geeks. I'm such a shame to geminis.

No reviews for Omen, Cars and X-men, cause I think they all suck.

And, I didn't watch Da Vinci's Code.

Red is so cliched but what the hell

Happy birthday to Jehovah's split personality.

Now, get me some fire for those candles.

Just in case

I wrote this for an upcoming event, I'm not sure when will it be or where will it be held, but just in case. Pretty much inspired by Slinky Chink, I have a feeling it might suck, but hell this is only my first attempt.

No, I didn't cough blood on my handkerchief.

No, I didn't die, at least not when I end this sentence.

top 10 movies : part 6

It's been a while since I've written about movies, partly because I haven't been watching as many as I used to, sure I would love to, but there's been a lacking of time, and interest, as there aren't many titles that interests me for quite some time. Not to mention the dissapointments I get from recent releases such as Kitano's "Takeshis'" based on the fractal theory, probably something that is better off written in a book rather than shot on film, also Takashi Miike's Yokai Daisenso, aka The Great Hobgoblin's War which is quite disastorous, just as the title suggests.

I haven't been feeling too happy recently, and I have this habit of digging into nostalgic black and white films to cure my depression. So I bumped into one of my favourites made in the 50's, here you go.

And the lamb opened the seventh seal

there was in heaven a silence

which lasted the space of half an hour.

And the seven angels who had the seven trumpets

prepared themselves to sound.

Those were the opening naration of the 1957 masterpiece, Det Sjunde inseflet, or The Seventh Seal, artfully crafted by one of the greatest filmmakers, Ingmar Bergman. You'll probably think he is long dead by now, but he is still alive and kicking, last I heard he is still making films, probably in his 90s.

The Seventh Seal, is a tale about a knight returning from the crusades, where he fought in the name of God, only to discover Death, a personified character, waiting for him as he arrives. He then challenges Death to a chess game of life or death. He makes his way home to reunite with his wife and progresses in chess along the way, while questioning his faith in the God he fought for. Eventually, he becomes so wary trying to win the game, he forgot he is still alive.

Back when Ericsson was still making wired household phones, when Volvo was still another crappy national car, and Ikea, still haven't quite figured out how to rip off their customers by making them hammer together their own furnitures, then tell them that's what lifestyle is about, Sweden had lots of Swedish films. Most youngsters might not have known, Swedish films are actually quite revolutionary back in the 20's till 50's, then the Japs took over, only later Hollywood jumped on the bandwagon.

Ingmar Bergman is one of the few directors who have the balls to criticize Orson Welles being a piece of overrated crap, and Jean-Luc Godard being utterly boring. It is not hard to figure why would Bergman make such a harsh criticism, he was way ahead, and often challenges themes that could shaken the faith of spiritual church goers. I've always thought I understand christianity a lot better than a lot of self proclaim christians, as they couldn't answer a lot of questions I brought up, and some didn't even cross their minds. I believe it is when someone examines and questions faith, that strengthens it, not by avoiding. Instead of watching torture oriented sadist docu movies like Passion of Christ, it is neccessary to construct solid faith in christianity, by going deep into movies like Monty Python's Life of Brian, The Last Temptation of Christ and last but not least, The Seventh Seal. I know it is odd for a guy like me who's hobby is to mock christianity, putting on such a serious tone when dicussing the matter of faith, but I consider those who hasnt quite challenged their own faith to be nothing more than a dumb terminal receiving whatever feeds given by the mainframe, in IT terms.

The movie is quite dialogue driven as it used to be a stage play written by Ingmar Bergman himself. Characters are somewhat comical but it worked well in contrast with the deep and subtle main character. The composition is interesting, especially during the presense of Death. Errmmm, I think I just ran out of words.

Anyway, moral of the story, if you're really afraid of death, pick up chess, and be real good at it.

Fandango

Death, an eccentric friend of mine.

We've been pretty close pen-pals since long long time ago, but we've never met.

He hasn't been telling me much about himself.

In fact, he hardly tells me anything, except for the ways that I could meet him.

I thought it might be better to remain the way we are now.

But, he promised to pay me a surprise visit one day.

Cause, he knows, I love surprises.

Anyone has rabbit tails to spare?

`

If lady luck does exist, I must have done something that pissed her off real bad. Probably, something as bad as walking under the ladder a thousand times. My luck has been consistently horrific since a couple of months ago, but not until a couple of days ago, it became worse. It all started when I was slowly running out of cash, my debit card stopped working, and I travelled almost all around Selangor just to try out different ATM machines. The funny thing is, I could check the balance but I couldn't withdraw any cash, it was like lady luck trying to tease me or something. Then, two days ago, I tried out this new place near where I stay, the food seemed nice, so I had a good portion, and next thing I know, I woke up the next morning with an unbearable ache in my stomach. I thought I could recover in a short while, and even thought of going to work, but at the end, I decided to give up on the struggle, and went to a doctor instead. Turns out to be real serious food poisoning, and had an injection to cool things down. The rest was hell, the injection was strong and I had what seems like two days straight of acid experience, mostly spent in the toilet. And finally, a couple of hours ago, I sorta recovered and my laptop's LCD burned, I wasn't upset at all, partly because it is still under warranty and partly because I've had worse hardware experiences, but most of all, I was mesmerized by the faulty LCD monitor.

See for yourself.

It's amazing how things can go beautifully wrong.

How I wish I could do a screen capture.

And for the time being,

CRT is my best friend, they are just so nostalgic.

Jackson Cleaners : part 5

To be continued...

Great, drawing at this pace, I should be able to finish in 2008.

Back to Part 4

Almost forgotten I have a blog

I've been writing offline recently, and I don't feel like posting them up here anymore, probably I've grown to be much more of an introvert than I used to. I still have some entries, drafted earlier but not published, just to make sure my blog doesn't seem dead when I run out of time, or ideas, to write, or draw, but somehow I just don't fucking care anymore.

Life's taken some crucial turns, and guess what? I'm working full time right now, it's a pretty good offer, and I didn't say that just because my half-boss-half-colleague Alex, reads this. It's human nature to bitch and whine about everything, so I guess I'll just have to say I'm not too used to being commited to a full time job quite yet. I drive all together 70 kilometres, to work and back, everyday except weekends. Since driving on the highway is a no brainer, I'll turn on the radio and leave the volume at a pretty low level, where I'll barely hear anything, just a little bit of noise. It kinda boosts my brain waves, which will make my brain wander. It is very much similar to how our operating systems operates the processor, 1% allocated to driving, 99% does nothing, which makes me wonder, if the processor uses the other 99% to ponder upon things without us knowing. Eventually, it became something I look forward to, everyday, as I hardly sit down to think about things, modern day people especially lifeless geeks like me, are so fond of hitting google whenever a question comes to mind. Now, all of a sudden, I feel closer from being enlightened. Who knows, I might just achieve nirvana one day, on my way to work.

On the other hand, my dreams are becoming a lot more bizzare, bizzare in the sense that, they are metaphorically logical, and often features a well balanced blend of events happened in reality with a touch of dramatica, if not a wicked twist. They might just be as good as David Lynch's. Again, something to forward to everyday. It's a shame that I suffer from sleeping disorders, for the recent months, I sleep 6 hours on average, 7 at most, 0 at times, and I'm writing this after waking up from 4 hours of sleep, still trying hard to doze off again, tired but sleepless. This means I don't get a lot of deep sleep to indulge in dream theatre. But still, isn't it great to wake up knowing there's something to look forward to in life?

You wouldn't understand, if you ain't a fan.

Do you know what this means to a Kitano fan?

All of Kitano's films on two DVDs? What else can you ask for in life?

Yasmin would probably get multiple orgasms over this.

P.S : Come beg for it.

This is a copy-and-paste entry

Saying goodbye is not an easy task.

Especially when, it means forever.

Don't be evil

Apparently I'm not the only one who thinks Google is evil.

And Microsoft is not that bad afterall.

http://www.fuckedgoogle.com/

The Holy Prepuce

In conjunction with easter, I would like to write something holy.

Once upon a time, when Chrisitanity was having it's tough days, they needed the help of Christian relics to strengthen believers' faith. Holy relics are precious items which are hard to come by, while every single church wants a piece of the action. As we all know, King Arthur nicked the Holy Grail, as seen in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, while other objects such as the spear that poked through Jesus during crucifixion are hardly available since ebay didnt exist till 1995. To make things worse, Jesus was carried straight to heaven after his resurrection, without leaving a trace behind, so there's no way anyone could have a fair share of the remains from the Son of God. The obsession became so strong, it lead to desperate moves. Graves belonged to saints were raided, churches were robbed and indiana jones were everywhere.

Then, one fine day.

"Wait a minute, Jesus' a Jew", a genius thought.

"He must have circumcised like any other Jew".

Then, the news spreaded.

Till date, three churches claim to have it.

He is indeed, the Son of God.

Results on Google

Random Katamari Facts

Killarkai's blog is up again, and he claimed that I've retriggered his love for katamari, hence the new logo.

Exiang and I played Katamari at Ken's place, while his 3-year-old nephew observed. Surprisingly, the toddler picked up a new vocabulary, "Katamari", thanks to the catchy(probably subliminal) soundtracks. Lucky it's not his first word, but I'm pretty sure its the longest word he knows.

Keita Takahashi, designer of Katamari Damacy is a pretty weird person, and graduated in Arts majoring Sculpture. Watch him talk about the game.

Despite how much I like Katamari, I suck at the game, not to mention I get drowsy pretty easily playing immersive 3D games.

The Outsource Nation

Some anonymous reader sent me an email recently, and asked me what do i do for a living. It's one of the questions I find most difficult to answer. I hate the word "freelance", cause it sounds like I work for free, while "part-time" isn't exactly how you describe it. The closest is probably "I do all sorts of shit as long as it pays".

Where do I get my jobs, you might ask, well, I'm gonna spend this one whole entry talking about it.

Outsourcing has never been something new, as long as human beings could remember, it could possibly be the second invention, right after barter system. For instance, Eve couldn't handle all her chores, so she outsourced some to Adam, in exchange for sex. Might sound absurd, but I think that's a damn fine piece of example.

Anyway, globalisation has brought a new hype to the outsourcing phenomenon, the biggest outsource in the world is probably USA programming jobs to Indian programmers, so big that even Matrix made a reference to it if you noticed the Indian programs at the end of Matrix Revolutions. The reason is simple, Indian programmers are cheap and mechanical while American programmers are lazy and inefficient, not to mention good programmers are hard to come by as Google has hired every single one of them. Therefore, the corporates did not hesitate to fry those white lazy asses, then replace with dark brown ones. However it wasn't the IT industry which kicked off the outsourcing trend in the US. It's been 15 years since Matt Groening cheated us into believing "The Simpsons" was produced entirely in the US, while the truth is they're drawn completely in South Korea by people who don't even speak english, following instructions on storyboards and scripts made in US. Now you know Bart is Korean.

You might think our country is always a step behind when it comes to such trends, if you do, you are not very well exposed. Because, as far as I know, Malaysia has been leading the wave of outsourcing, probably not at an international level, but we definitely have our own ways of doing it, and its a concept which is years ahead of other countries. Why? The main reason is the government has been very encouraging in this matter, and has been an excellent role model. For instance, there are plenty of government servants who specialize in various industries, yet the government insisted very badly on outsourcing their projects to private sector. There are a couple of reasons to this, I can't name them at the moment cause I can't think of any, but I'm pretty sure there are a couple of reasons, good reasons.

If you're still in doubt, check out this government outsourcing structural table, which explains step by step how everything works if the government happens to outsource a project to illustrate the potrait of Jesus Christ.

Isn't it amazing, when everyone gets their fair share of money, while only one guy has to work his ass off. When people tell me how wonderful multi-level-marketing is, I'll say bollocks, I'll rather do multi-level-do-nothing, a money making scheme brought to you by our beloved Malaysian government. On top of that, pyramid schemes are proven to fail after 10 levels of hierarchy in membership, while government outsourcing never does!

Also Matt Groening has shown interest to move The Simpsons outsource to Malaysia.

Nah, just kidding.

Battle Royale 3 !!!

All you fan boys out there, Battle Royale is back!

With a bunch of not so appealing cast.

Nah, just kidding, it's my cousin's national service photo.

I love Katamari

My Katamari dream.

No, I'm not very greedy.

The genius of Katamari Damacy

If you haven't already notice, I just so happen to be a Games Design graduate, jobless, but my passion for games burn as bright (if not brighter) as the flames I have for films. However, just like how I despise the commercialization and the hollywood way of filmmaking, I do not play games as much as I did back in the days when I was still a teenager, simply because the new generation of games are no more than a bunch of eye candy showcase sharing ultimately cliched gameplay. Gone were the days where you could expect something fresh from almost every single game title off the shelf (the pirate's shelf of course) instead of just one being more beautiful than the other.

I've always thought that Starcraft is the last of it's kind, so well made and so much fun where you'll wake up in the morning from a Starcraft dream, only to notice your fingers are still clicking away on the alarm clock. Ok, I admit Metal Gear Solid had similar effects, but I would say I haven't found any since. What caught my eyes a couple of months ago was Sir Peter Molyneux's new born twins, which he claimed to be the end result of 20,000 chinese food take aways during development period. Fable turned out to be an over publicized piece of gimmick, a slightly above average RPG with some fresh features which didn't really work, while Black and White 2 was just another impressive artificial intelligence showcase which completely lost the fun it had in the first one. Such a disgrace to chinese food.

But there is one recent release, that shined vibrantly before my eyes and injected some hope back into the games industry.

In brief, Katamari Damacy, is a bloody simple game, that involves the prince of all cosmos rolling a sticky ball around town sticking all sorts of objects to it, so he could gather enough material to reconstruct the entire galaxy which his father, the king of all cosmos accidentally destroyed. Not going to go deep into details of the gameplay, but what made me write this entry is this, a lite version of Katamari Damacy made in flash.

I placed it on my Yahoo Messenger status, and what happen was a couple of friends started asking me the same question.

The genius of Katamari Damacy is somewhat similar to the genius of Homer Simpson, it might first sound like a stupid idea, totaly absurd but if you put some deep thoughts into it, it might be the most brilliant thing you've ever heard/played, yet it'll still appear to be rather dumb. Katamari Damacy simply satisfies the will to possess in most human beings, and with or without an objective it'll still provide lots of fun. Fun is not an intellectual understanding, it is as simple as something someone feels good doing, but unfortunately, we are usually so numb towards life, that we do not recognize fun, and do not believe it could be obtained so easily. And, there's where Katamari comes in.

Here's a trailer to give you an idea how the game works.

And, if Katamari ain't fun, then try explaining why this girl cosplayed Oujisama twice?

If you happen to like Katamari as much as I do, here's a tune from the soundtrack I use as my ringtone.

Nothing

Just a note for myself.

And those who reads this during office hours.

Our country in the eyes of the Gwailos

One of the sites I dig the most, The Internet Movie Database, or in short, IMDb, has this forum-like message board that allows registered users to satisfy their movie buffing desires. So, I was looking at some of the threads for the film "A History of Violence" directed by David Cronenberg, then there's this Gwailo(demon / ghost / cantonese slang for westerners) getting all excited over the fact that Malaysia actually banned the movie, and started a thread about the issue titled "Banned in Malaysia?".

Here's some remarkable quotes from the thread :

Eddie Murphy's an asshole

Blamed for something our neighbour did, nice eh?

Yup, dying jews turned us on.

It kinda humours me, knowing that all sorts of efforts done earlier to build up Malaysia's reputation went down the drain, completely ruined by an innocent thread, started all out of curiousity by a bloody ignorant Gwailo. And it is interesting to see how people from foreign countries would look at us, after figuring out we banned hell lot of harmless films due to ridiculus reasons.

Here's a cached link to the thread for those who doesn't have an account at IMDb

and the actual link.

And, the list of movies banned in Malaysia.

Enough said, damage done.

Good ol' days

S.R.J.K. (C) Sam Tet, the primary school I went to, a prestigious stepping stone for your kid's education.

S.M.J.K. Sam Tet, students from the primary school are automatically transferred to it's elder brother next door, one of Malaysia's best secondary schools.

A peaceful enviroment, is the perfect incubation for straight-A students.

Well secured school area to pamper students with a sense of security.

Punctuality is the key to success.

And most of all, students are encouraged to continue the tradition passed on for generations, which is to take a break from school whenever they feel like it. As stress will only burden their already stressful academic life.

Ooo ya, Casual clothing is allowed too.

A story about a friend and me being an asshole.

I have a friend who drives a convertible, one of those retractable by hand soft top, not the motorized folding type. He has this habit of putting the roof down, as often as he could, especially after sunset. In tropical countries like mine, convertibles are somewhat impractical for daily transportation, and often seen as a luxury item, so he never fails to attract eyeballs. He is the kind of guy that shines in confidence, very sociable, and extremely lifestyle conscious. Undeniably, he has the assets to be proud of himself, given that he made it at a young age, having what most of us could not even dream of before hitting the age of 30, not to mention he is surrounded by flocks of chicks, so he could have peers like me drooling over the materialistic pleasures he gets. On top of that, he has no attitude problem, his personality is completely fine, which makes him popular among both genders. But, there are always assholes like me being envious, or even jealous, thinking that he could use a lesson or two, to learn to be more humble, and less happening. And, that also explains why we are not very close friends.

So, he was doing some leisure driving one evening, in his convertible, without the top of course, cruising along the traffic-free circular multiple carriageway of Putrajaya, wearing his top of the range oakleys which bounces off ultraviolet rays from hurting his eyes, enjoying every bit of the Xanadu replica, Malaysian government had built. Next to him seats an elegant looking young lady, probably around my age bracket too, having wind running through her shoulder lengthed hair, enjoying the company of a successful young man and probably envious eyeballs from other vehicles laying all over her. Sad to say, two of those eyeballs, are mine, I was driving behind them on a different lane, without knowing the driver is a not-so-close friend of mine. It was after my pathetic grocery shopping, where I bought two boxes of chinese tea bags, and got excempted from paying 2 bucks for parking. Half of my concentration was on the lady, while the other half was on the gorgeous convertible, so I didnt have any left for the driver. I kept the speed, to be good to my eyes, checking out two things I long for in life at one time. Out of a sudden, it started drizzling. I thought he was gonna pull over to snap the roof back on, but instead, he stepped on it. He accelerated and widened the gap between us, it took me quite a while to catch up since mine is a local made underpowered sedan built to save fuel, while his has a german badge on it and gulps petrol like how russians gulp vodka. Anyway, I bet at that point, he was feeling very proud for his understanding in aerodynamics, that if he drives fast enough, the air that glides along his windscreen will create an intensive flow above his roofless vehicle sucking the drizzling rain drops into the air flow as he speeds under it. And, since he has superior engine power, he could just speed off to some fancy coffee place in no time, snap the top, and have some expensive coffee with the lady, while enjoying the rain if it gets any heavier.

Once again, I was getting closer to his rear, but suddenly every single car in front of mine lit their brake lights, no exceptions for the german pedigree. It was some bunch of ministers exiting the government buildings, possibly after a meeting, and had some traffic polices to block the traffic. Then, I appeared to be right next to the convertible, and it was then I figured, the driver is indeed my friend. The lady was a little nervous, as there's no longer air flow to coat them from the drizzles, while my friend tried to grab one end of the soft top, but no luck, since the lady didn't help to grab the other end, she was too busy trying to cover herself from rain drops, the top was probably too flimsy to be pulled up from one side. As I was on the edge of dropping the idea of waving at my friend since he was rather busy himself, rain poured down like God had 12 pints of beer. The police officer, who stopped the traffic, became completely wet in just a matter of seconds, same for the two person in the vehicle next to mine, the interior leather finishing, the cream leather seats, the stereo system and it's control panel. Out of pity, in the middle of stationary traffic, I got out of my car, into the rain, and helped my struggling friend pull up the other side of the soft top, and snapped it on to the windscreen, while the soaking wet lady was still bloody confused. I did a quick wave at him, and he said something to me, which I didn't manage to pick up, probably thank you, or get your dirty hands off my car, doesn't matter, then I hopped back on into my car. As coincidental as it may sound, the moment I grab the wheel, the traffic police gave us the signal to go. It was as if the whole incident happened for the sake of soaking him and his lovely convertible. So, I drove off, and for quite a distance, I saw his car in the rear mirror, till we went seperate directions. I couldn't remember how soaked they were, but I could imagine.

No, he didn't call me since. Probably out of shame, or he didn't even notice it was me. But for whatever reason it may be, I felt real good, not because of a good deed, but the lesson he gets, yup, I'm an asshole. If this happens to be a divine intervention, then God must be pretty badass too, and I would like to thank Lord for the first time in my life, for teaching him a lesson about the importance of being humble and not to fight the forces of nature by merely understanding the use of aerodynamics, Hallelujah! Moral of the story? If you really want a convertible so badly, buy a model where you can snap with one hand, or just get a motorized one. And, don't have me as a friend if you're successful and living a good life, cause I'll blog about you out of jealousy.

I certainly hope he doesn't read my blog.

Now, you can have the entire planet earth to yourself, at the price of 60 terabytes!

I don't usually blog about technical stuff, in fact, I don't at all, this blog is pretty much like my escape from our left brain dominated world, or my sanctuary that keeps me away from the society of logic and rationale.

Anyway, this one's about Google Map. I'm working on a project that concerns hacking google map images and putting them to good use. If you have no idea how it works, basically, google has an enormous set of tiles, 256x256 each, sized around 10-13KB, each containing a piece of snapshot from somewhere in this planet, of a particular zoom level.

I don't wanna go too deep in details, in brief, google map allows anyone to zoom 16 times, 1st level consists of 4 tiles, 2 for x-axis, another 2 for y, so 2nd level, each tile will split into 4 tiles, magnified and has a higher level of detail, resulting 4 on each exis, and so on. Therefore, the number of tiles for x or y-axis equal to 2 to the power of z-axis(the zoom level). All these tiles are images processed from Google's servers from mapping data, and are retrievable in JPEG and PNG cause they have a specific address for each tile. That's the basic idea, don't worry if you don't understand it, cause that's not the point.

So, I shared this piece of info with my greedy colleague, Mr.Alex, and he said this:

"Hey! why don't we steal all of google's images, and keep it in our own harddrives, then we can browse google map real-time!"

I have to admit, that is a brilliant idea, and I've never dreamt of doing that at all.

So...out of curiousity, I wrote a simple program, to calculate how many tiles are there to snatch and how much disk space needed. And here you go.

zoom level 1: 4 tiles
total tiles: 4
total estimated filesize: 44 KB

zoom level 2: 16 tiles
total tiles: 20
total estimated filesize: 220 KB

zoom level 3: 64 tiles
total tiles: 84
total estimated filesize: 924 KB

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zoom level 16: 4294967296 tiles

total tiles: 5726623060
total estimated filesize: 62992853660 KB

which is 58.6666666530073 TB

Ok, my calculations might be wrong cause my maths suck, but the sum covers tiles where google map might not have coverage yet, such as highest level of detail in places like amazon jungle. But hey, it's future proof.

Also, to make things clear, the statistics include only satelite images. To bundle grids and labels, I think it'll be roughly another 30 terabytes. Did I tell ya, I can get the same stuff from MSN's virtual earth too? no? it'll just be another 60 terabytes. Hell, it's fun to talk in terabytes!

You might think I sound like I'm gonna sell you something, but no, I'm not. How much the google map satelite images package is going to cost, you might ask. ABSOLUTELY FREE!!! I'll even throw in all the software I wrote, for free, bundled with a crawling software that will snatch the entire google map every now and then.

System requirement, any PC that has a minimum of 60 terabytes harddisk space.

*Note : You might also want to ask for other packages. Donations are welcomed.

Surf Google Map real-time today!

My new found talent

Yesterday night, I met up with the people I worked with on the golf tournament, they passed me the first draft of the golf video, and some photos I took at the tournament.

I must say, I feel pretty sorry for the editor, cause I was too bloody hardworking at the tournament, I shot some 14 hours of footage and 1000+ photographs. It is rare when you give shit to others cause you work too hard, but it does happen. The editor has to go through my 14 hours of video at least 3 times, and figure out who's who in those 1000+ photos.

While running through those photos, I figured I'm pretty good at taking photos for kids, they'll smile, laugh and show funny faces the way I want. I'm not saying I'm any good at taking photos technically, cause I really just point and shoot without giving a damn in exposure settings or even switching to manual focus, but in terms of capturing really good expressions from kids, I must be really good at that. So, I bragged about it in front of my friend, and they burst out in laughter. Their arguement, it's not that I'm good, but my face is way too comical for fuck's sake, and that just made these kids happy, or sad looking at that face of mine. Which, kinda reminds me, whenever I'm driving and waiting at some traffic light, if there's a car full of kids next to mine, and so happens that those kids are looking my way, I'll give them a two finger peace sign bundled with a stoned face, and that, has never failed to entertain them, ever. They'll get so excited, and usually they'll tell their parents about it, while I'll turn my face away to avoid eye contact with their mum and dad, then drive away when the light turns green.

Sometime's I'll do the "Yes Sir" gesture, instead of the peace sign. It's comparatively entertaining.

Happy.

Very happy.

Happy.

Stoned.

Stoned.

Whacky, happy, and happy.

Happy.

Not so happy.

Ok, this guy's not a kid, but it's a pretty good shot, I hope 100 plus will pay me for this.

No, I don't exactly hate kids, even though The Best Page in The Universe says that you should hate 'em, no, I don't hate them.

Announcement

Just when I am still suffering from insomnia due to alcohol consumption (if you don't think it's possible, go look it up in google), I would like to announce, from today onwards, whoever sees me taking a sip of liquor (except beer), I'll pay that person 20 bucks malaysian ringgit. Period.

The things you own, end up owning you.

Fight Club, has a massive cult following all around the world, even in Malaysia. Though, I'm not really a fan, lots of young people claimed it to be their favourite movie of all time. However, most of them missed the point entirely.

If you happen to be slurpping on starbucks ice coffee, sitting your ass on an IKEA chair, or simply looking at a Mac laptop, while, you also happen to like Fight Club. You my friend, might learn something new today, if you continue reading that is.

Sorry to say, if you're looking for the meaning of life, or path to enlightment in Fight Club, there's none. The premise of Fight Club is simple, it is about how consumer culture, so wide spreaded and deeply penetrated into our lifes, paralyzes our ability to decide what we really want, without knowing it ourselves. The damage is pretty obvious, knowing that the amount of starbucks in this country is outrageous, while there's alternatives which are 10 times cheaper, and probably tastier. Lots of people seperate themselves from others by looking at their belongings, let's face it, we all do. But, overdoing it would just suck you into a vacuumed endless tube of unhealthy consumer culture, addicted to purchasing a list of products well planned by marketing experts for you suckers to consume, which explains the size of IKEA despite being a privately owned company. The worst case scenario would be losing our very own culture completely, turning ourselves into bad imitations of idiotic americans. Errrmmm, bad imitation of idiots, might not be a bad thing.

Anyway, Fight Club reflects our lifes, shows us how pathetic we actually are, while most of us think we're not. The weapon of mass destruction is not in Iraq, nor America, it exploded long ago, and shreds of it embedded to our minds, hardwired. Yes, the greatest weapon of our time, is indeed, MEDIA. I can't help but confess, that I am just like everyone else, a victim of media. Just like how I love McDonalds, how can I not like it? The first time I turn on TV for cartoons about 20 years ago, they've been telling me I've gotta love it, how can I not love it? It's just like your mum nagging you to wash your hands before every meal for 20 years, but with fancy jinggles and gay clowns.

Trust me, we can't think for ourselves. The bloody americans have been injecting us with too many messages, be it obvious ones or subliminal, be it adverstisements, cartoons, sitcoms or hollywood flicks. It's like them injecting a dose of cocaine in your breakfast cereals, lunch, dinner and supper, there's no running from it. No matter how we watch our steps, we'll eventually step into another consumer-culture-influenced-decision-making-moment. CNN told us USA was attacked by terrorist, and now they are fighting back in the name of freedom, so we have to believe them. It's a 24 hour news channel, for god's sake! It has to be true. We've been too dependant on media, and it became our standards for morality.� It's way too deep inside us, only thing we can do is to keep our future generations from such influences and educate 'em, I might sound like some community service annoucement, but I don't mind sounding like one, cause this could be our only chance to prevent our next generation being mold out of America's god-bless-us-and-fuck-everyone-else idealism. Hell, should I even use the word idealism?

While our country, still obssesed with making roti canais and teh tarik in space, there are others, working hard to create awareness among their people, even filmmakers in America have been working on various documentaries concerning the dangers of Corporate America, and the power of Media. And, now you know, Fight Club ain't just another cool film that tells you to go out and beat the shit out of someone, cause it's cool.

"The things you own, end up owning you."

- Tyler Durden -

Wisdom of men

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I need a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn�t keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am now 40 and am looking for a girl with very big tits.

Posting someone else's joke in your own blog is lame, but I did it anyway. This was one of Luke's post in his old 9brokenwings blog, I've always thought it was much better than most of our popular local blogs, too bad for those who never had a chance to see it, he shut it down for a reason that contradicts this entry. It's sad when the benchmark for our country's sense of humour is Kennysia.

The Rum Diary

We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five
sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half-full of cocaine
and a whole galaxy of multicolored uppers, downers, screamers,
laughers...Also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of
Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls...But the only thing
that worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more
helpless and irresponsible than a man in the depths of an ether binge...

- Quote from "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" by Hunter S. Thompson (1937-2005) -

Hunter S. Thompson was one of the best writers of our time, entertained the mass with a wicked writing style 30 years before Maddox's best page in the universe. A lot of modern writings owe him big time, and not just that, his stories usually revolves drugs and alcohol abuse, with a blend of violence, and sometimes insanity, which gave us an alternative to experience the abuse of substances, without actually taking them. You might think I'm crazy, but if you get the chance to read his stories, or even better, watch the movie version of "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas", you'll get what I mean by "translating acid into words and images".

The title of this entry, is the title of Hunter S. Thompson's greatest piece ever, which he wrote it at the age of 22. The Rum Diary examines the kind of love relationship made out of all the horrible things you can think of, namely substance abuse, violence, lust, jealousy etc. Why Rum, out of all things? According to him, Rum goes well with all sorts of drugs, so there you go.

Anyway, don't worry this entry is not about his book. Worse still, this is my very own Rum diary.

I'm a lot more softcore compared to Thompson himself, of course, I have to be, there's nothing you can compare, and all you can do is to salute the old man, who shot himself in his backyard during his family gathering, because life, simply ain't fun anymore. He died, of course, at the age of 68. Both, Wiki and IMDB calls it suicide, No, they don't understand, it's boredom.

I'm not much of a smoker, and I don't do drugs, so what's left is alcohol. I used to think I could avoid the destiny of being an alcoholic despite being born in a family which I suspect, has alcohol addiction genes running in our blood. Now I think I might be damn wrong.

Let me brief a little about my family background. Males in my family are very prone to alcohol addiction, and have very high resistance towards alcohol effects, which can be a very bad thing. My eldest uncle died of brain damage due to alcohol overdose, he passed away peacefully in a barbershop when his barber was giving him a haircut. My dad could gazzle down those chinese herbal liquor where the alcohol content is some crazy 80%, those stuff are meant for daily consumption, a teaspoon a day for good health, enhances blood circulation, not meant to be drank like soft drinks, and it definitely ain't slurpee. I would say, he really did mark a high standard for all of us.

Now, for myself, I am doing my part for my generation, it's a very chinese thing to pass on our traditions.

Alright, now the sole purpose of this entry, just a short one, I would like to keep track of what I drank since 2006.

New year's eve/new year's day.

Mixture of : Vodka (brand unknown, but definitely not the cheapest), sparkling juice, guava juice, orange juice cordial.

It was new year, everyone gathered at my house, I didn't have to drive, so I could to numb my senses without a damn.

Few days after.

Snow Flake Beer, softcore but good shit.

Right after the one day penang trip, we missed Ipoh too much, so we've decided to have some of Ipoh's finest exports.

A couple more days after. Probably 13th of January.

Mixture : Absolut Vodka, Ribena.

Mike's place. All I can say is, Absolut Vodka's an overhyped brand which happens to be some softcore shit.

The next day.

Balalaika Vodka (Probably the cheapest shit you can find in the liquor section), sparkling juice, soda water, fruit juice. Note: I've got to blame it on Jia Yunn for giving me the idea to deep freeze the vodka, it's just so smoooooth.

Less than a week. Almost Chinese new year.

Another bottle of Balalaika Vodka (Damn, even the name sounds cheap), same combination then Vanilla Coke. Took two days to finish the bottle. Neo came up with this smartass idea of mixing it with Orange flavoured Cod-Liver oil.

Chinese new year.

Lots of beer.

Mixture : Hennesey + Tesco Cola (Y2K is fucking cheapskate), I'm fucking sick of coloured liquor with coke.

MX-5 gang came down to Ipoh, and had some Hennesey. I swear I didn't have the slightest bit of feeling, probably too much Vodka makes normal liquor feels like soft drinks.

Chinese new year aftermath.

First it was Malibu, then came Gin Tonic, then some wine. Wouldn't want to write so much about it, since there's already a lot of coverage on the topic.

The next day.

Mixture : Bacardi, 7-up, Sprite.

Neo gave me a bottle of Bacardi, probably the second bottle of Rum I've drank since 2006 after Malibu. No prior experience in mixing Rum, so had it with 7-up. Again, finished the bottle with a couple of friends.

Snow Flake Beer, fucking good shit !

The Happy Family (some of the members were disposed)

Note : Neo said you could just stuck in a piece of cloth in that vodka and there you have your homemade molotov cocktail. Errrmmm, looks like it.

*Note that there might have been leftouts which I might be too drunk to remember what I drank or who I drank with. Lucky I didn't wake up in funny places or next to funny people. If I did, I thank god for not being sober to remember.

Being drunk like hell, is a spiritual expirience. I've always thought that one would not know him/herself well enough, without getting bloody drunk. Being drunk, is where you lose your inhibition, balance, reflexes etc. Or in more technical terms, alcohol simply slows down the messages delivered to your brain. A simple analogy would be using very poor conductors for the circuits on your personal computer, be it the motherboard or the processor. No, drinking (liquor of course) doesn't kill braincells, it is merely a false popular belief.

Vodka, stands for the water of life. Ok, I don't know russian, but at least that's what they say on the net. There's a historical event, that proves Vodka's superiority over other liquors. There was a troop of 200 foot soldiers in Russia, winning a battle of some kind, happily returned to their barracks. As usual, when a battle is won, the army would throw in a feast, along with free flow of alcohol. Softcore US army would get drunk on beer, while Russians, would of course go with Vodka. There is a tradition in Russia, if someone pours you Vodka, you'll have to drink it in one shot, else its bad omen. Note that Russians drink plain Vodka, mixing Vodka with fruit juice and shit is for softcore people like us, simply because, Vodka in Russia, is a lot cheaper than fruit juice. Back to the story, so the soldiers had a crazy night, and everyone was dead drunk. The next morning, when some superior arrives to congradulate them over their victory, all 200 strong were found in deep coma. Later some died and some woke up.

Another story I've heard from my sister who studies in Moscow. This winter, the tempreture was a negative 40. There were two options for homeless people, to stay alive. The first option, start a fight with another homeless guy, do some obvious vandalism, or rob a store. Basically, do crime till some police officers on beat notices you, then spend the rest of the winter in the warm and cosy prison, without having to risk death. The alternative? for those who have a little money to spare, drink Vodka, lots of 'em.

Now, you know why it's called the water of life.

Jackson Cleaners : part 4

To be continued : Part 5

Yeh, I know, it's almost three months, but what can I do?

Inspiration's a bitch, laziness' a pussy.

Back to Part 3

You have one whole lifetime to contradict yourself

con�tra�dict

v. tr.

To assert or express the opposite of (a statement).
To deny the statement of.
To be contrary to; be inconsistent with.

The title, it might be someone's quote, or I might have just made that up at some point of life. It was brought up during a conversation with a couple of my closest buddies, whom used to talk about Billboard chart topping hits, Eminem, Subaru Impreza and Starcraft. Now, our topics, are either the meaning of life, or chicks.

Last night, I met up with a guy, who wants to hire me for developing a Strip Poker web game, yes, S - t - r - i - p P - o - k - e - r , no joke. He seems to be a nice guy, and who could resist having Strip Poker as part of portfolio? Then, I went on to meet with Mike, who used to be some sort of hang out buddy back in my Cyberjaya days. What can I say, he is now married with two daughters, hell I didn't even know he had a second daughter who is almost a year old now. He used to travel all the way to Ipoh, to checkout on hot chicks, although he still does, to checkout on his daughters. Probably I should give him some credits on this entry, he served me some Ribena Vodka, and I felt damn drowsy when I reached home at 1am, then slept and somehow I am wide awake at 6am, writing this shit. Lesson learned, either you drink enough to knock yourself out, or don't drink at all.

I guess life is all about constantly contradicting yourself. You don't grow, if you don't contradict yourself enough. Yes, humans are lame, there's nothing you can do about it. Learning through experience is just a nice way to put it. At least, that's what I think at this point, since life is about rapid self contradiction, I might think different in the future. Let's see, I used to worship Pulp Fiction (the Tarantino film that is, not those paperback magazines you read in public toilets) and now I just despise anyone who does that. Wayback, when I was like 11, my role model, was either Forest Gump or Bill Gates, and now it's bloody Kitano. I used to think driving fast, braking late and sliding my car sideways is fucking cool. Now? I just don't think I can afford another crash.

That's exactly how much contradiction you can have in a couple of years. How many more "couple of years" do we have in life? How many times will you contradict your previous contradictions? Probably, what it all comes down to, doesn't matter that much, cause there's no "what it all comes down to", since you're gonna contradict it anyhow, one fine day. So, be a hippie and be happy about it, nah, just kidding.

Recap of 2005

Achievement

None.

Failure

Everything.

Sympathy for Hollywood Audiences

I would like to express my hatred towards hollywood a little. I hate people who claims to be movie buffs, when all they watch is hollywood. There's so little left in modern hollywood, you can almost say people who watch mainstream hollywood films and nothing else, are suckers. Suckers of the American culture, the fucking American dream, the Jews' brainwash, and there's nothing much we can do to bring them back, unless there's a second coming of Jesus, Jesus of filmmaking, of course.

Let's face it, how many more batmans or james bonds they're going to make in my lifetime? I'm 22 and I'm sick and tired of that shit. I remember there's a video of Jeremy Clarkson bashing up a Perodua Kelisa, his reason was, the car is not made out of passion, but with profit in mind. If that's the case for hollywood films, a couple more of 911 incidents could not do enough justice for what they have done to the film industry. I have no respect for most filmmakers in hollywood, which also explains why I am not using a capital H for the word. If hollywood were to be the only place films are made, I would consider commiting suicide. Also, hollywood is full of wankers, namely directors who would like to start off the credits with "a film by steven speilberg". Filmmaking, is a collaborative creative process. The director, like his/her title, is in charge of directing everyone towards the same direction where the story is heading, not to own the entire credits of the film. Only person who might come close to be credited "a film by", is the screenwriter, still, not close enough.

The sole purpose of this entry, is to steer people towards a better understanding of film, or at least show some of you, how Hollywood films should be made.

Park Chan Wook, might not be the second coming of Jesus, but he is definitely Abraham, if not Moses. He is far from being my favourite filmmaker, I admit I enjoyed most of his films, yet they are way too commercialized. But, no one could jump right on from having "Van Helsing" as their favourite film, to Ozu's "Tokyo Story". This guy here, is like a bridge, for people who are used to hollywood, to switch to films which are a lot more interesting, which works better overall, as a film. Basically, his films are faster in pace, has quick cuts, sensations, pretty actors and actresses, mild/average violence, occasional nude or sex scenes, and last but not least, a good story.

Under his belt, he has an unofficial vengeance trilogy, which started off with :

Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance (2002)

A story about an angry man, avenging his lost kidney after being cheated by illegal organ traders, and at the mean while another angry man, avenging his daughter's death.

The main reason I decided to write this is because, I've just watched the final installment of the unofficial trilogy. And, I have a friend who has recently stayed over at my place, unintentionally fell into the trap of being an asian cinema sucker like myself, right after I showed him the second installment of the trilogy.

Old Boy (2003)

Probably one of the director's most well known film till date. In fact, as typical as hollywood could be, they've already bought the rights, and assigned someone to make a remake. Anyway, this one's about a man being imprisoned without being told the reason, for 15 years. And, one fine day, he is released, and there he goes on his path of vengeance, as an angry man, of course.

If you're doubtful about how good korean, or japanese films can be, and you think the best films still come from hollywood. I have a great feeling this one will change your mind, like how it did to my friend.

Anyway, the trilogy ended recently with :

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance (2005)

To me, this one's the shittiest among all, except that instead of having an angry man, we have an angry lady. This time, the protagonist is imprisoned for a reason, at the age of 19, the heroine is jailed for kidnap and murder of a 5 year old child, and she will avenge her injustice.

The main attraction of this movie, is probably the lead actress, I don't know much about her, but I had a friend who peeked at my screen when I was watching and told me that's "Dai Cheung Gam". My first reaction was WTF, but later I figured she is in fact the lead actress for the popular than ever korean drama series. Who cares.

I don't exactly like the trilogy, but I seriously think highly stylised shit like Oldboy will definitely appeal to hollywood suckers, and teach them a lesson or two in film appreciation. Before you think I'm gonna stop here, there's another portfolio of his, I'm gonna slap in. This one's for those who have too little time in hand, yeh well, bullshit, if you have time for hollywood, you'll have time for anything.

Three...Extremes - Cut (2004)

Here's a 40 minutes short, final segment of the second compilation of shorts done by acclaimed asian directors. This one's about a film director being placed in an ironic situation where he has to kill an unknown kid to save his wife. That's his wife in the photo.

Finally, would like to end it with my favourite among his work.

Joint Security Area (2000)

If not mistaken this is the film he gained fame, and I personally think this is how Hollywood films should be made, given that this film has a story hollywood is fond of, and the values they treasure in the western society. Joint Security Area, is a film that examines the tension between North and South Korea, when there's a conflict between the militaries who are guarding the border of the two splited nations. It starts off with an investigation on why did the conflict started, as a South Korean soldier seems to have escaped from the North and killed two North Korean soldiers in the process. As the investigation goes, it turns out to be a rather simple incident that triggered the tragedy.

The film cleverly uses political differences to examine friendship, while fully utilises hollywood specialties without spoiling the film.

It's kinda rare for me to review commercial mainstream stylish films, but I guess Park Chan Wook is a clever little bastard who managed to bridge the style of hollywood with innovative storytelling of the East. I really do hope people would give odd flavours a try, and who knows, we might just find gems in them.

And.

I hope you hate hollywood after reading this article.

I hope you hate hollywood.

You hate hollywood.

You hate hollywood.

You hate hollywood.

Hate hollywood.

Hate hollywood.

Hate hollywood.

X'mas Campaign

No more campaign, person in photo merajuk.

If you missed it, too bad.

gibberish

Since it's gibberish, no introduction is needed, here's a list of avatars created by Luke for his msn messenger.

Bad imitation for Chinese New Year Exhibit A

Bad imitation for Chinese New Year Exhibit B

Bad imitation for Chinese New Year Exhibit C

Zheng Siu Chao, TVB actor of the 60s, fingers belong to Luke.

Leung Ka Yan, TVB actor of the 70s, fingers belong to Luke.

Tam Bing Man, TVB actor of the 80s, fingers belong to Luke.

Man Chi Leung, TVB actor of the 90s, fingers belong to Luke.

As you can see, Luke did all this at work. I have no idea how all these avatars relate to his job.

On the other hand, Dimsum who works in Klia as a technical support, did this at work, http://batikcorner.blogspot.com/

Few days ago, some guy asked me if I believe in God, then passed me this.

Anyone wants a copy, you can have mine.

And errrr, happy new year.

I don't exactly hate X'mas

In fact, I actually kinda like it.

X'mas, also known as Christmas, for those who are better at spelling. It is said that this is the day they celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, someone who died some two thousand years ago. Why would someone want to celebrate a long dead person's birthday, you might ask. I don't know and not that I
care. But in a way, I care cause, this is one of my favourite festive seasons, because everything about it is so commercialized, like McDonalds.

Why I like it so much? Easy.

Green and Red, since when these two colours of extreme opposites look so good together? Also, according to my inaccurate (but pretty logical) statistics, following tightly behind Valentines, X'mas eve is the time where most people get laid and lose their virginity. Some books and films claimed, Santa has a factory of elfs working their asses off day and night to build toys for your spoilt brats. Santa Claus is by far the most successful obese fictional character ever created, OK, some said he is not fiction, but I'm pretty sure I'm right about him being obese, and fuck those thin santas in departmental stores. On the other hand, two thousand and five years ago, Mary was a virgin, Jesus took her virginity, on X'mas day. X'mas shows how stupid westerners are, cause kids insist on believing santa is real, while parents encourage them. On the bright side, America gives whatever country they're attacking, a X'mas break. Not to mention, X'mas carols sound a lot better than Chinese New Year songs. Did I mention how marvelous mistletoes are? Shitty X'mas plays and films make you think most christians are dumb fucks. The word X'mas pisses off most christians, because when X replaces Christ, it must be anti-christ!!! Did I mention Santa Claus believes in Karma too?

Anyway, I might have sounded like I'm being sarcastic, but I really love X'mas. Who cares if Jesus was born on that faithful day, all I care is the cosy decoratives they have in departmental stores, seriously they make me feel damn good. Listening to some jazz singers' renditions of X'mas carol makes me feel damn classy too. Too bad we don't have sitting on Santa's lap shit in this country, or bad Santas like Billy Bob Thornton. But at least we are doing some good sticking up to someone elses' culture, just like how we stick up to flipping out mac laptops in starbucks. Lots of people, especially christians, would like to bitch about X'mas being too commercialized and how people don't appreciate the true meaning of X'mas. Let's face it, if it's not for the commercialized version of X'mas, the world wouldn't celebrate the birthday of a man who died on a cross, like most rebels back in the good old 1st century. Let me tell you the true meaning of X'mas, X'mas is about a fucking overweight bastard who physically abuses a couple of reindeers and millions of elfs, carrying a big bag, sneaking into people's house to molest kids. Man, I love X'mas.

Oh ya, not to mention, X'mas came early for me too.

My study loan, is charging interest, to be exact, a fine, around 100 bucks for every month I don't pay up. If you're wondering what it says on top, it sounds something like this,

"We are glad to inform you that the interest has been reduced from 4% to 3% per year, if there's any enquiries please contact us by mail or email. Happy New Year!!!"

Happy new year indeed. Last I heard, us yakuza loansharks are charging a little less than that amount, for interest. What a wonderful X'mas present, another reason to love this amazing festival. Merry fucking X'mas to myself!!!

Chicken experts caught spying

As seen on title

top 10 movies : part 5.5

I know it's pretty ridiculous to have a 5.5 in my top 10 movies list, what's more ridiculous is, I'm gonna review two movies one shot in this entry. But, trust me, this two movies hit me so hard, I had to struggle for a while, to decide whether I should remove two movies from my initial list and replace them with these two. This dramatic internal conflict of which movie should go in the list lasted for a couple of hours, until I came out with a solution, a pretty ridiculous one, which is of course, this entry, part 5.5.

If I've not mistaken, I don't have anything that comes close to being a romantic drama, in my top 10. Also, I don't think I have anything from Korea. Lots of people might think I am nowhere near to being a sentimental gentleman, or I'm just a sick bastard who loves sick movies and will never learn how to appreciate romance. Korean movies never dissapoints in giving the impression of being too mainstream, which doesn't mean they are shitty, just that when it is meant for the mainstream, the majority of society, whom voted for Bush and supports America, simply don't like to use their brains, so mainstream movies are made such a way that they don't need their brains very much to watch those films.

The truth is, I'm not easily impressed when it comes to romance, or I'm just being too picky for my own good. I hate movies like Before Sunrise and Before Sunset, because they talk too much. No one restrains themselves to talking when they're having an intimate relationship. Moreover, no one rents a hotel room to write martial art novels, when your affair happens to be Maggie Cheung. I find such movies like, In the Mood for Love and Before and After Sunrise to be way too pretentious and doesn't serve the purpose of romance. Of course, I'm not looking for hot sex either, if I am, I'll be better off watching porn.

I've probably mentioned a thousand times bout how sick and tired I am towards the Hollywood cliches on everything they make, therefore no exceptions for romance. When two person falls in love, they either kiss, or they fuck, end of the story, good old hollywood.

Fortunately, for the past few days, I've been lucky enough to have found two love stories, which hit the right note in getting the perfect pitch of equilibrium, between extremely ambiguous subtlety, and good old hollywood cliches. And coincidentally, they are both Korean, both have beautiful actresses, similar plot setup, and they even have similar movie poster designs.

First one is, "Siworae" from the year 2000, somehow better known by their english title "Il mare", which, reall is Italiano, means "the sea".

"Il mare", 2000

The plot is briefly about two tenants from the same beautiful seaside residential unit, but occupied the place in different time frames, roughly two years apart, somehow managed to communicate with each other through the help of a magical postbox.

This happens to be "the film", before Jyun Ji Hyun, or whatever her name is, gain fame in "My Sassy Girl". I was seriously expecting it to be some hollywood styled feel good romance flick, yet it turns out to be the opposite. The film took it's cinematography and soundtrack rather seriously. The pace is pretty slow, and worked well as it never seem to rush things while taking its own sweet time telling the story. I admit there are pretentious elements in the screenplay, but the two concerns mentioned earlier, both cinematography and soundtrack managed to compensate with the flaw, by fine tuning the mood to allow such pretentious moments and made it seem real. Amazing.

Jyun Ji Hyun also looked a lot prettier, and did a better job in acting compared to her performance in "My Sassy Girl". I guess some people are not meant for comedy.

"Failan", 2001

The next film, would be "Failan", 2001. Despite the name sounding vulgar it is actually a pretty decent film, and the title happens to be the name of the character acted by Cecilia Cheung. And, for some of you who are still thinking dirty, no, it doesn't mean "handicapped dick", it's korean, not cantonese, remember?

Anyway, this one's about a girl from China (Cecilia Cheung of course), wandered her way to Korea in search for her remaining relatives, falsely married to a Korean Yakuza in order to extend her stay, and somehow both of them build up a rather special kind of relationship, without even meeting each other, not even after marriage.

If you're familiar with Korean cinema, or at least know a movie or two, which hit it real big internationally. You might be familiar with the main actor who also acted in "Oldboy", as the protagonist who suffered injustice. This film, like a lot of other films Choi Min Sik starred, is a lot more violent, however the violence is crucial to build up the yakuza's character, in order to develop any further in the story.

The acting was superb, the story was magnificent, and many argued this could be the best film of 21st century. Personally, I don't think so, but it is definitely somewhere near that calibre.

Both films, share so much similarities, yet they stand so uniquely on their own. Both stories have a similar plot setup where hero and heroine almost never meet each other at all, but managed to incubate that special feeling towards each other. Both films share a sense of subtlety that makes them much more interesting. And of course both actresses are hot, but personally I prefer Jyun Ji Hyun, cause Cecilia Cheung's not my type, haha. Of course, like I mentioned earlier, both posters look the same too, hell they looked like they were for the same movie, using the same fonts and shit.

Anyway, there's not much point to compare both movies, else it'll be like comparing Subaru Impreza with Mitsubishi Lancer Evo, they're both 2 litre all wheel drive turbos, but superior in their own ways. Car wise, I'll fall towards the Impreza, but again, it's personal preference. Movie wise, I still can't decide.

Imagine

He died, exactly 2 days and 25 years ago.

well probably not exactly, but you get my drift.

John Lennon, in case you are so damn shallow not knowing who the hell he was. Here's a little fact of the day, Lennon is one of the front men of The Beatles, along with Paul McCartney. They co-wrote and sang most of the songs performed by the band. And, in case you don't know who The Beatles were, I guess you can stop reading from here.

On 8th of December, 1980, John Lennon was shot by some asshole 4 times, from the back, and died on his way to hospital or probably in the hospital. The point is, he had an ongoing feud with Nixon, and lots of other political people. He was way too influencial back then, way too influencial, for his own good, and somehow the people who ran the country didn't quite like it, especially the hippie movement that he brought up, it only contributed to sales increase for volkswagen beetles. His death was said to be an assasination rather than a usual celebrity homicide.

To understand why some people hated him so much, I'll have to bring up one of his songs. I didn't quite like the idea of posting someone elses' lyrics on blogs, it's like slapping a piece of cheese on your face and walk around telling people how brilliant the guy who made the cheese was, really, no point doing that. But in this case, I think I'll have to paste his lyrics, to show what kind of idealist, a weed smoking person can be. Oh, did I mention he smokes weed?

Imagine

written and performed by John Lennon

Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
living for today...

Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...

Imagine no possesions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say Im a dreamer,
but Im not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.

Personally, I think he is cool, his songs are cool too, but I prefer Paul because I think he is cooler, and his songs are much cooler too. Weed, also known as Marijuana, is a form of drug, banned from non-medical usage in most countries, for pretty obvious reasons. My first sentence of the paragraph is a simple example of what happens when someone is stoned from smoking weed, and tries to write blog entries. I have to admit, John Lennon is a pretty brilliant song writer, and "Imagine" is quite a beautiful song, but, forcefully injecting propagandas and personal ideals into an art medium, is simply not the way to go. The song became way too political, and someone just had to bring him down. Undeniably, it is a classic, but it costed him his life. As you can see from the highlights, in more specific terms, he would be an Atheist cum Utopian cum Communist cum Idealist cum songwriter, or in short, a Stoner. Basically, the drug is pretty common among musicians, I bet Bob Dylan was writing about his spiritual experiences, high on Marijuana, when he did Knocking on Heaven's Door, I bet he knocks that door every now and then, pretty often too. In fact, I have a friend, who somehow in appearance resembles John Lennon, smokes lots of weed, scores well in exams, and is a vegetarian. That proves how healthy weed can be, it's even ORGANIC man!!! If you were to say cocaine and heroine and shit are categorized as modern medical wonders, then weed will belong to the chinese traditional medicine section.

Personally, I'm not much of a smoker, more of a drinker, so I don't abuse that drug. And, if you know you're going to be influential to the society, it's better to keep away from that shit, before getting too high in public, while the hippies will worship you, then someone has to bring you down. I got inspired to write this by reading one of the devoted christian's blog, some girl, who was saying John Lennon is a hero figure blah blah blah, and she didn't even notice John Lennon is a bloody atheist, who had slammed jesus and his father for a couple of times in public, and once said :

"Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn't argue
with that; I'm right and I will be proved right. We're (The Beatles, or probably us utopians) more popular than Jesus now; I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or
Christianity. Jesus was all right, but his disciples were thick and
ordinary. It's them twisting it that ruins it for me."

- for more anti-christian and utopia related quotes by John Lennon, click here -

So much for a Lennon fan cum Jesus freak, girl, Booooooo.

Anyway, as for a common practice to avoid trouble in this country, I would like to warn everyone, abusing drugs is bad for health. We should say no to drugs, just like what the Ipoh Y2K neon light says. Don't take drugs especially when you're ill, it's bad, you should just consult your family witch doctor, ashes with tap water is the cure to everything, and is a medicine proven to be better than laughter.

Happy 25th aniversary, John Lennon.

Hope you're making good music somewhere, somewhere else.

I'm so fucking disorganized

I haven't pay up for my study loan, they've been sending a lot of warning letters.

Jackson Cleaners part 4 is not complete yet.

I have a website that says "All Rights Reserved. 2001".

My front absorbers, and engine distributor is leaking like hell.

More than 10gigabytes of movies I have yet to burn.

Kieslowski's "Three Colors" trilogy is still lying there, somewhere.

People still owe me money for freelancing, but I'm too lazy to ask.

My desktop has empty space for two more icons.

I have fungus on my skin, and I didn't bother to apply medicine.

I have yet to complete my research on my uncle's documentary, a documentary to warn the world about dangers in a particular heavy industry, which will contribute greatly to global warming. So much for saving the world.

I have a dozen of DV tapes, waiting to be firewired.

I wanted to update my blog once, in december, but the browser crashed, so I got pissed off, and boycotted the blog for a week.

And I'm still blogging directly from the browser.

Cleaning my room has always been a thought, and remained as one.

Top 10 movies review is half way done.

Reply Su's email.

Have a new story up in my head about this lonely guy, but didn't bother to write it down.

My final year project was supposed to be a game, but it wasn't completed. That was half a year ago, and it is still, not completed.

My gums bleed all the time.

I didn't label the golf tournament footage properly, so the editors had to run through 14 hours of golf footage. I feel sorry for them.

My to-do list used to be a 16kb text file on my desktop.

I accidentally deleted it today, that's why I'm writing this entry.

Why am I not drawing Jackson Cleaners?

It's been more than a month, since I uploaded part 3. Lots of people been asking me where is part 4. Of course, I would like to tell them I've been meditating to get better inspirations through the search of my spiritual self, but that would be total bull shit. The truth is, I've been slacking a lot, working a little and most importantly, hanging out with some losers, like myself. No offense to people I hang out with, but most probably I already did.

First and foremost, there's my ex housemate, MJ, better known as cute_dimsum, or vice versa. He works as a computer technical support somewhere in the international airport, stays in a haunted hostel, and his job is to whack tons of haagen dazs ice cream, believe it or not, he even gets OT for doing that. No there's no catch to it, that's exactly how fun the job is, but still he self proclaims a loser, most probably because he is doing nothing most of the time, like me. Another thing in common we have is, we are such pathetic fucks, having nothing else to look forward to in life, we are actually damn anxious about an upcoming bbq party, try to top that!!! Not to mention, he has a bottle of chivas, which keeps him away from being sober, and also from killing himself. That is no way to escape reality man, you've gotta face it, abusing alcohol will only kill you slowly, the key towards suicide is to obtain a quick and painful death.

Anyway, I actually went out to eat with him twice, first time was to collect my car from the workshop, we went for Bakuteh in dengkil. Second time was to whack our stomachs silly at the nearby steamboat buffet restaurant. Anyways, two guys going to steamboat buffet is simply pathetic.

Then, there's Luke, or better known as 9brokenwings, who happens to be not 9brokenwings anymore, after he shuts down his blog due to his girlfriend's restrictions on his freedom in blogging. Luke, if you're reading this, I don't mean to rub salt or mercury or sand on your wound, but just to warn you, there's more ahead. I've never met him in person before this, I added him because he had an interesting blog about how pathetic he is. Luke is a paranoid freak, who always think I'm his duplicate, living in a parallel universe, cause we are similarly pathetic. He thinks msn and yahoo messenger are crossed over points of our universes, and he actually thought of crossing over to kill me, so he could become stronger, like Jet Li. Anyway, I proved him wrong by meeting him up for Bakuteh at SS3.

Surprisingly, he is not as stone or violent as I thought based on his furious blog entries (mostly about killing zombies), he still laughs like a normal person, and doesn't bring a chainsaw around chopping off other Bakuteh customer's limbs. But still, he didn't dissapoint me in being a loser, I mean, who else could have suggested beer at 10 in the morning and hang around not knowing what to do next? who else? other than us losers? And of course, our topics wouldn't be anything other than bitching about how things suck in life, and how lame people get all the fun and shit.

I watched harry potter, gropper on fire. Despite being a piece of hollywood trash, I actually enjoyed it, probably because its half british, or probably I'm just lame. And, that asian girl, whatever her name is, she's hot! Yeh, I'm a phidophile, sue me.

Oh ya, before I forget, Bakuteh is the official food for losers.

Man, this entry is pointless.

Three years, seemed like a lifetime

"I shall look for my unique soul mate in the sea of people.
If found, I'm blessed.
If not, I'm fated."

- Xu Zhimo -

I'm fated.

Tribute to the King, the Booya King

I would like to give credits to the photographer, but I forgot her name, sorry bout that.

I'm writing this early, and it will be drafted as soon as it is completed. The reason is, Mr.Booya King didn't want anyone to know, not until he hands in his resignation letter, or to be exact, his three months notice for resignation. As usual, when I write about someone non-fiction, I usually don't mention their full names, in case anyone searches their names on google. For now, it is more likely to prevent his enemies or future employers reading this, or just anyone who might use it against him.

I've probably bitched a thousand times about how fucked my education is, but there were a few teachers and mentors who really did guide me well throughout the process. Aside from Takashi Miike and Takeshi Kitano, there's the Booya King.

Booya King, is the ONLY person, running the Games Design degree course, which I graduated from. About 7 years ago, at the age of 22, as a shinny happy computer science fresh graduate, he joined the bloody university as a tutor, overheard there's a games course going on, and decided to join, only to discover that he is in fact, the ONLY person in the course. The university set him up, but still, he single handedly coordinated and planned the entire course, did the job of a lecturer but paid as a tutor, for seven years. There are other lecturers teaching games too, but they weren't involved in running the course as in designing the syllabus, course outline etc., they were purely, teaching, and I wouldn't wanna go there.

Two days ago, Exiang and I met up with him, he told us he has decided to call his quits. Being the only person running the course, the future becomes uncertain, just like Britney and J.Lo's marriage. I am not too supportive of his decision, personally, I think he should have just quitted years ago, given the shit he gets in return for his dedication in teaching. No one else could have possibly endured seven long years, teaching a bunch of monkeys like us, and getting all sorts of shit from the people above, enduring a seven year itch could have been easier than this. Not to mention he was not obligated to do a damn good job, but he did it anyway.

He is in fact, the Morpheus of the Games Design course, not only because he plays the role of one, but he certainly looks like one too. He might have not shipped a game title, yet, but he did his best, to educate and guide, just like how Morpheus showed Neo the path, without having to know how to dodge the bullets himself.

I wouldn't want to kiss his ass anymore, and I don't usually get all sentimental, also I might sound a little gay doing this, but for Booya King, I guess all games design students would agree with me. Glad that you've moved on and we wish you all the best in your future undertakings.

And, for one last time, Hail to the King!!!

Disclamer : This entry is purely based on my personal opinions, and there might be points which some would not agree with, but I don't quite give a shit.

Wine

"The girl I will love, is like a fine wine, that gets a little better, every morning."

- taken from Jacques Brel's "Bachelor's Dance" -

"However,"

"The girl I will most probably love, is like some cheap booze, numbs my senses, gives me terrible hangovers, every morning."

- taken from the sad facts of life -

Golf tournament aftermath

Due to public interest, I've decided to publish my personal photos.

Taken a year ago, that's my original skin colour under dim light, it's the photo which I drew my yakuza potrait over.

Brace yourself

Taken on the last day of the tournament in my hotel room, under similar lighting condition. The collar tee I wore is white, so you can tell approximately how dark the room is. Satisfied? I looked like a malay boy, if not a nigga, and I still do.

Took this picture today, I think I recovered a little, I'm not sure if sunblocks are suppose to prevent you from turning dark, if that's the case, Banana Boat Maximum Sunblock sucks. Lucky enough I didn't get sun burn, thanks to the sunblock I guess. Man, am I contradicting, or maybe not.

Anyway, other than dark skin and some cash in my pocket, I've also received 6 collar t-shirts of the same design, they forced me to wear those bloody uncomfortable shirts during work, and I sweat like hell filming the bloody tournament, the laundry service in hotel charges 25 ringgit to wash a pair of socks, so they had to give me a brand new shirt everyday, of course they wouldn't mind since they have like millions of those shirts. At the end of the day, I have 5 blue, 1 white, consisting of 3 medium and 3 large. See for yourself.

Am thinking of forming a futsal team, use these as jerseys, white one for the goal keeper.

Also, there's a ton of rich kids hanging around the golf course, you can tell by their names, they usually have rare christian names, and they are not neccessarily christians. There's this chinese teenager named Feldman, I always thought that's suppose to be a surname, he won the amatuer tournament anyway. And, somehow he has a brother named Enzo, I won't be surprise if his other brother's Murcielago. Best of all, is this 14-year-old chinese guy named Lion, good job Lion's dad, I bet he'll be the next Tiger Woods.

In case you think I'm lying, here's proof.

"Good for the boy, whose insurepreneur-dad is such a golf fanatic that
he recently flew down a veteran coach from the United States to help
Feldman - and his brothers Medhi, Levine and Enzo - imrpove their swing.", from some Singaporean online newspaper. click here to view full article

Ok, I was wrong, he doesn't have a brother named Murcielago. But hell, his father has got good taste for cars, Levine, except that he got the spelling wrong.

What makes you different?

is it the coffee you drink?

probably your mp3 player?

or your pda phone?

your mac laptop maybe?

the hollywood trash movies you watch?

french art films you pretend to love?

is it your fake accent?

or just you being a snob?

Golf ark yorsef

I'm back, I'm fucking tired, I'm fucking exhausted, and I look like a fucking malay boy.

Picture above shows my working enviroment, you might not see the sun, but you can probably tell how fucking hot and shinny it is from the shadow on the grass. Yup, that's where I worked, for 7 days, yup, 7 fucking days, for those of you who are wondering how dark can I be after 7 days under the sun can come and visit me within a month or so.

I don't know, I think golf is a fucking pointless sport, especially for tropical countries. Why would some rich fuck, who has all the money in the world to spend, expose himself under the sun, walk hundreds of yards, and spend his time playing with 18 holes? Personally, I would rather stick to the idea of playing 1 hole at a time.

Maybe, I'm just not rich enough to feel the joy.

Even though the experience sucked big time, I did enjoy a couple of things at the golf course, such as:

Real men drift downhill, on buggys.

The ultimate of left foot braking.

These photos might not be beautiful shots, but� it took me quite a while to setup the tripod and to get the timing right. The buggy was really poorly maintained, all four tyres looked like slicks, but they were completely worn out, that's all. They were running on motors, so it had a drag while going downhill, the trick is to brake fucking hard in a medium downhill slope, to shift lots of weight to the front, and lock the steering to one side, then counter steer locking it to another side, it works perfectly for poorly maintained buggys and it is easier than it seems.

Don't feel like writing too much, I've lost my bangs in blogging. Haha.

Fuck!

Did a little modification to my ride, that's the brand new G-String rear bumper

I'm glad I still have my fucking sense of humour. Shit really does happen. I'm sick and tired of it, but again, who's not? I'm off to JB, no blogging for a week I guess.

Who wants to buy a couple of days of my life?

No, the title is definitely not a joke, that's what I did to the past few days of my life, I sold it.

I wouldn't want to talk about what I did, its just another shitty project I get from some people, but it really made me think why the hell am I doing all these? just for the sake of money? Literally I've used up exactly 3 days of my life, doing nothing but someone else's project, which will definitely make another rich man richer, whom I don't even know. Of course I was paid, it made me richer too, lots of people might think 3 days of work, and I'll get what seems to be one month's worth of salary for most fresh graduates, is definitely fair enough to compensate what I've suffered. And, while I was bitching about it to some of my close friends, they said I'm a fucking spoilt brat because they sold 20 days of their lifes to make the same amount of money.

But, that's not the point I'm trying to make, what I'm saying is, is it really worth it to throw away three days of your life just for the sake of money? I've been freelancing a lot, doing lots of last minute work, patching up someone else's lousy piece of shit, and saving lots of people's ass in crunch time. But, I was happy about it all the while since they pay really well, until recently I've totally lost mood in doing such donkey work. What made me reflect upon myself, was the shitiness of this recent job, given to me by two amatuer outsourcers, didn't make things clear enough leading me into deep shit. Nevermind, it wasn't their fault, I could have said no. I was reluctant to pick up the job, as I was already on the edge, thinking a lot about my quit in freelancing. But, taking up the job might have did me some good. What the job did was, it pushed me off the ledge, showed me the obvious, and made me decided to quit it once and for all.

I don't know the statistics, but since it is said that 6% of the population owns 60% of wealth on earth, so my guess is 94% of people walking the earth, work for someone else, making someone else wealthier. You can screw me all you want for my lack of knowledge in math and economics. Basically, that means, the majority of this world, spends a miserable 9-5 everyday, then goes home and sleep, wakes up the next day, does the same thing all over again, until its weekend where they automatically switch to happy mode, spend some of their money to compensate the misery they've been through the entire week. As soon as they know it, it's monday again, and they repeat that same fucking routine over and over again.

Again, I don't know my statistics, but I think most of the money made, in that process, for most people, are used for three things, to buy a house, to buy a car, and to pay for their kid's education. The house, is basically where you sleep so that you can work for another day, or where you spend your weekend to prepare yourself for another week of work. The car, of course its for family trips once in a blue moon, but don't you think most of the mileage were used up for driving to work? And finally you are preparing a path, for your kid's future, so they could live the same old miserable life you've been through.

What's the point?

Someone commented in my previous post, about me being a champion in a whinging competition. Even though they're meant to be wothless opinions, I think he might be right.

By the way, I didn't have time to draw anything, cause I'm one of those suckers I've mentioned above, the flash animation was part of my work. Being part of the 96%, I'll be working again next monday. What about quitting? I'll have to finish up all the jobs I have in hand, before I could quit, and then I can spend all the time in the world to, starve to death. What a life.

What went terribly wrong with our education?

Few hours ago, I figured I got a "B-" for my final paper in university. Basically, this is the day where I officially say goodbye to Malaysian education, and when would it be more appropriate than today, if I were to write about our very own education system?

Without doubts, I will call myself a victim, similarly, 90% of the people educated under the same system. Before I start, I would like to introduce one of the victim turned convict, of our education system. My good friend, Vincent, screwed things up big time in secondary school, where he didn't bother to come to school until he received his final warning letter, ready to be expelled anytime, as long as he skip another day in school. During form 5, he was supposed to sit right next to me in class, but most of the time I was sitting alone, as he was absent most of the time. Our class teacher, recognized his problems, and helped him cheat his attendance, which saved him from being expell from school. He sat for two out of ten papers during our SPM exams (O Levels), and frauded his results to enter a local college.

Where is he now? He is studying his masters in Great Britain, under recommendation of his British lecturers who are also convincing him to continue his doctorate. Not to mention he managed to beat the shit out of everyone, including lecturers in an Artificial Intelligence assignment where everyone's supposed to program a bot to fight agaisnt each other in a puzzle game.

I still remember him being the bugger who drives a Toyota MR2 to school, blasting some techno tracks outloud, until the discipline master came to chase him away. What went wrong exactly? It is certainly not that he was a dumb ass back then and turned smart afterwards, but somehow the system did not recognize him as a potential academician. I don't see any of the top students back then going as far as he did.

Where is education heading?

That's a fucking big question mark, if you ask me, it's just that my blog system couldn't change the size of the font. I don't know what's wrong with this country, everyone's obsessed with their children learning skills in operating something, or possessing capability to memorize lots of theories. Let's talk about the operating skills first, all parents are anxious of letting their children pick up certain skills such as the piano, ballet and computers. The problem is, the process of learning has become so mechanical that children no longer learn concepts of why are they operating such things. Little did they notice, without the capability to understand the concepts beneath it all, possessing plain operating skills, they will never go anywhere further than being a machine operator. This does not happen among childrens only, the gold rush phenomenon in Information Technology, and now BioTech, is derived from the same mentality only at a more expensive level.

Above is a graph of our country's population statistics, it shows that 32.9% of our population consists of youth under 15. Technically they are the future of the country. Education is definitely the best investment for the country, if you ask me, certainly not Information Technology, or BioTech. It's fucking 32.9%!!!

Education has become a battlefield, you need to beat the crap out of your peers, in order to get scholarship to further studies in a foreign country, be it middle east or africa, as long as it's a foreign university, it's better than local ones.

They might be right tho, therefore, the key to score in all exams is, Memory. Who needs understanding anyway, when memory will bring you far enough, to pass with flying colours. Since the trend is such, that memorizing became the crucial element to excel in academics, the exams are designed to test your memorizing capability. If you happen to be designing a set of exam questions, try not to provoke too much thinking, you'll have to consider most students memorize by hard.

To get things done, you'll need to imply concepts and theories, while machine operating is only one of the paths to work things out. Whereas, we have people who are obsessed with operating machines, and memorized theories by hard. Honestly, I see little hope in us, products of Malaysian education.

The Hook

Like most things in life, you need to have a hook to seek attention. Hooks in films, are nicely paced sequence of events at the opening of a film that will garner the audiences' attention. Hook in sex, everyone knows. Lots of people take education for granted, and thinks planting hooks in the education system is not a neccessary move.

Japanese, are one of the most mechanical and well organized people in the world, and it is hard to imagine such people can have boundless creativity. But again, the best porn, video games, anime, and personally motion pictures, comes from their country. You might say I'm a sucker. But, if you carefully examine their education system, it is as mechanical as any other things in their country. What made the difference, is their summer project scheme in primary and secondary schools. It has been a tradition, every summer, kids are given summer projects and lots of schools actually force students to propose their own titles. Keep in mind, in my university, 95% of student's final year projects are offered by lecturers, talk about spoon feeding. As for the proposed titles for summer projects, all sorts of funny titles came up, such as "How many times my baby brother cried during summer holidays and why" or "How many cups of ice cream can I handle before I get a stomachache". Freedom in project titles is definitely a hook to cater for all student's interest, the scheme opened up space for creativity, and eliminated inhibition. Anyway, a puny difference between education systems made a whole lot of difference, encouraging creativity is an important part in education which somehow didn't quite occur to the ministers in charge of education in our country.

Dyslexia, is a disorder where one has difficulty identifying words or characters. In recent researches from Britain, it is found that kids who suffer from such disorders had difficulty to grasp the orientation of the english language, so, they made them study Chinese, where they all excelled. In lots of countries, special children are given special education. Whereas, in our society, they are called stupid, dumb or retarded.

Different things appeal to different categories of people, we might be interested in certain subjects, but in a different ways, just like Dyslexic kids have their way in Chinese, and some guys are only interested in certain chapters in Biology. Providing a better enviroment that appeals to a particular bunch of individuals is a good start in education, but somehow, in Malaysia, we see it as, students in the science classes are smart asses, while the others are just dumb.

Encouragement in teaching

Finally, lots of people see teaching as a last resort for their carreer, if they didn't make it elsewhere, they'll still have a chance in teaching. I'm not saying it doesn't happen in other places, in fact, people who teach screenwriting in Goldsmith college of London, never manage to sell any of their own screenplay. But, that could be changed as long as teaching does not sound too discouraging.

The teaching profession especially for those teaching in local primary
and secondary schools, is no longer a respectable profession. The good
old joke about parents slapping their kids silly because their
ambitions were to become janitors, now the kids get the same
punishment, if they wanna grow up to be school teachers.

The encouragement in picking up the teaching profession in this country is extremely low, undeniably, teaching is not everyone's cup of tea, it can be demanding at times, if not all times. Adding to that, the pay in Malaysia for school teachers, is relatively low, compared to lots of other places. As mentioned earlier, we have 32.9% youth below 15 years of age, who will determine the future of our country, currently educated by school teachers, who are lowly paid, most
likely not too happy with their jobs, and find it more profitable
teaching tuitions after school.

School teachers become extremely frustrated and seek additional income by teaching tuition classes, resulting a terribly unhealthy trend where primary and secondary school students go through few more rounds of tuition classes after school hours. Don't they understand there's a limit to human concentration? What makes them think if their kids didn't pay attention in class, would pay attention in tuition classes? Unbelievable, fucking unbelievable, but again, I was one of the victims, back then.

Shit i wrote a fucking long article, I think this is nothing new to most of us who've experienced it, I just summed it all up through my 15 years of experience of academic life. Fuck, 15 years, reminds me of Oh Dae Su in OldBoy, seems like i've suffered as much injustice as he did.

So, tell me, what went terribly wrong with our education? Or is it just me?

top 10 movies : part 5

This is the third Japanese film in my top 10 list, please bear with me as half the list is, in fact Japanese films. Before I mention the title, I would like to talk a little bit about the director of this film, Takashi Miike, how can anyone not talk about him when it comes to recent Japanese cinema. I wouldn't say he has an impressive resume, but if you were to force him write his resume in Times New Roman 12 points font, with double spacing, it will definitely be more than 2 pages, in fact, it is going to be quite thick.

Personally I think lots of directors are overated, especially those who couldn't write their own screenplay, simply because a good screenplay will direct itself. But, even though Takashi Miike never write his own, he is in a completely different league. This crazy guy directs an average of 6 movies a year, be it 16mm blown up to 32 feature film, or miniDV straight to video porn movies. Basically he does all sorts of shit even after he gained fame through out the years for his bizzare intepretations on screenplays of all kinds.

Enough said for the director, his details are all over the web, no point adding to the statistics. "The Bird People in China" is definitely Miike's best film till date.

Yes, ironically his best film is shot in China, no, the title is not an insult to the country. The plot starts off with two Japanese guys, a working class and a yakuza, travelling to an extremely secluded village in China, in search for a jade stone. The village is no different from any other secluded villages, except for the fact that their kids go to school to learn how to fly. Yes, fly as in defeating gravity.

I wouldn't want to spoil the flying part, all I can say is, they used that device seen in the movie poster to perform the impossible task. The film focused on the journey to the village, and process of blending into the village's culture. Personally, I kinda hate road movies, but this one somehow became an exception.

There's one part where they had a conversation about how secluded he village is:

Tour guide : "People in this village never experienced Mao Zhe Dong"

Visitor: "What do you mean, they never knew about the cultural revolution?"
Tour guide : ""No, they didn't even know he existed."

Beneath the surface of this simple conversation, lies one of the most important things in life, priority. It is almost like saying, "Who gives a fuck about Mao Zhe Dong? We are more interested in flying, get your priorities right!!!".

The film is very much about priorities in life, why the hell would you want to find a jade stone, when you're in a village where everyone's interested in flying, and in the search of how this flying culture derived from their ancestors, the jap guys being typical japanese, started analysing the all sorts of evidence. It is almost a mock at us not knowing what our priorities are, when primitive minded villagers are certain of what they really want.

The tone of this film is pretty well tweaked, not like another Zhang Yi Mou's tragedy in some village,� and definitely not as bizzare or violent as any of Miike's usual franchise. Overall it is a pretty fun film, with lots of funny moments, sometimes it's really films where you don't have to take it too seriously that wins your heart.

Single and available females, may I have your attention please

click here to get to know him

The guy seen in the picture is looking for a soulmate, preferably female.

In reality, he is a shy guy of few words, very fond of stalking girls, while in cyberspace, he is a skilled hacker, and don't be surprise if he happens to have your phone number, for all female students from his university, he has most of their personal information, except for bra size maybe.

Ok, seriously, this guy's my friend, worked in the same company as I did during my industrial training. Basically, he is a nice guy but too shy for his own good. He forced me to draw a cartoon version of him, for his friendster, and said it's for the sake of his future. So if any of you single females are reading this, happens to be interested in knowing a computer hacker, you can check out his friendster account, but of course, real life hackers don't come in the form of Keanu Reeves or Hugh Jackman.

Marvin, if you are reading this, stop stalking for god's sake, cause it is not doing you any good, go outside to smell the roses. Ok, I'm not too sure if he is a stalker and I might be nowhere to say that to you, but at least give it a try. And, don't hack my blog.

top 10 movies : part 4

It's been a while since I wrote about films. The other day I was updating my friendster profile, and was chucking in whatever movies I can think of into the favourite movies section. Surprisingly, I managed to list out exactly 10 movies, which automatically became my top 10 movie list. It is quite amazing, as I've always thought listing out my top 10 is one of the toughest tasks.

For this particular entry, I will review "Ed Wood" directed by Tim Burton. I'm not quite a fan of Tim Burton like a lot of my peers, I see him as a director who tends to over stylise his films, resulting most of them being style over substance. As for "Ed Wood", I tend to watch it as if I'm watching a biographical documentary, blended with a sense of humour.

If you have no idea who the hell Edward D. Wood Junior is, he is the "acclaimed" director/screenwriter who stunned the world with his horrible films in the 50s. Basically, you can say, one of my top 10 films is a film about the worst films ever made in Hollywood.

Edward D. Wood Junior, or Ed Wood, served the marines during World War 2, and somehow during his service, he was scared shitless, and had to find a way to calm himself. Nothing wrong with that, but what he did was, he wore bra and panties under his uniform. It might not make sense to all of us, but he developed the habit, and continued wearing women's clothing even after he completed his services for the marines.

His passion in crossdressing lead him to write and direct his first widely released film, "Glen or Glenda". Of course, It failed drastically, just like any other films he would direct later in the future. He teamed up with a bunch of weird friends. One of them, Bela Lugosi, the actor famous for being the first Dracula in films, was suffering from his carreer downfall, became Ed Wood's lead in most of his films, playing roles of vampires and mad scientists. Poor Bela Lugosi's career fell even deeper into what seems like a bottomless pit.

Instead of saying Ed Wood is a talentless fuck, he is very skilled indeed in making absolutely horrible films. Endless continuition errors, bad props, bad acting, lame dialogues, neverending voiceovers and poor edits seem to be the director's trademark. Personally I've only watched one of his films, "Plan 9 From Outer Space", which is widely known as his "masterpiece". In the middle of the shoot, Bela Lugosi died, and he was playing one of the important roles. Apparently, Ed Wood found an extra and made him cover the lower half of his face with a cape whenever he appears on screen, in order to replace Bela Lugosi, as seen in the picture below.

Zombies, vampires, monsters, giant octopus and mad scientists are usually subject of interest in most of his films. Such b-movie themes combo with limited budget and his ability to make things go terribly wrong, shows great promise in making a dreadful Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (MST3K) entry, where most of Ed Wood's movies gained fame in the recent years. Incase you don't know what MST3K is, it is a TV show similar to Twilight Zone, but instead of having a mysterious host telling you we are entering the twilight zone, we have a host pretending to be an alien who is stucked orbiting around earth, and movies he gets to watch on tv, are the worst movies ever made on earth.

Ed Wood didn't make much money out of his films, since most of them did very badly. He searches high and low for funding, and usually gets a peanut sized budget for most of his upcoming projects. Eventually he ran out of luck, and was forced to direct pornography, but somehow continued applying lame stories, such as "Orgy of the Dead". Due to his unsuccessful carreer, he was in poverty during old age, and died penniless.

Ironically, the film "Ed Wood", had a budget more than what Edward D. Wood Jr. had for all his films' budget added up together. The credits shouldn't be given entirely to the director or the screenwriter of the film, no doubt, Ed Wood's life as a loser in the film industry contributes a lot to the film, and is indeed the reason why the film work so well. The cast too did a fabulous job, they had big names such as Johnny Depp, Martin Landau, Sarah Jessica Parker and Bill Murray.

In short, Edward D. Wood Jr. is the ultimate example of a loser trying his best to make things work, in an industry where he is technically hopeless.

It is a shame for us, who might have the slightest bit of talent but not trying hard at all.

EDIT : As for public interest, and evidence to proof that I'm not bullshitting, here's the imdb link to "Orgy of the Dead"

Jackson Cleaners : part 3

To be continued : Part 4

Lost my touch in drawing, lack pace, some of the pictures took me one whole night to complete, so you better like it, and make sure you look at it over and over again.

Back to Part 2

This entry is pointless

This entry is somewhat special, since I haven't been writing any for the past few days. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm working really hard, cause all work no play makes Jack a dull boy, all work no play makes Jack a dull boy, all work no play makes Jack a dull boy, all work no play makes Jack a dull boy, all work no play makes Jack a dull boy, all work no play makes Jack a dull boy, all work no play makes Jack a dull boy, all work no play makes Jack a dull boy, all work no play makes Jack a dull boy, all work no play makes Jack a dull boy, all work no play makes Jack a dull boy, all work no play makes Jack a dull boy, all work no play makes Jack a dull boy. Haha, sorry if you can't relate and don't find it funny.

I was hanging out with my ipoh friends, and bumped into a couple of old schoolmates. Some are humble fresh graduates making an honest living, and some seems to be doing really well. I wouldn't go that far to call them a corrupt success, but wearing formal attire on a public holiday, really makes you think what they are trying to imply, or am I just doing too much thinking.

I've figured I lost my touch in drawing, after working with codes for the past few days, it really bugs me. One of the pictures for Jackson Cleaners part 3 took me one whole night to complete. Left brain is really a sucker, I think he shut off Right brain when I wasn't noticing.

The most ridiculus thing I've been doing for the past few days, I was watching golf tournaments, haha. Guess what, early next month, I'll be cruisin' down a golf course, in my very own buggy, with a caddy carrying my bags, for about ten days. No, I didn't make it in my carreer, no, I didn't strike lottery. The truth is, I'll be shooting the video for some senior masters golf tournament, and was watching golf tournaments on espn, to learn some tricks in shooting those things. I still can't figure out how the hell they could lock the camera to the ball's movement when it's flying.

Hopefully, I can publish the part 3 of Jackson Cleaners by today.

Books

I must admit I�m not very sober at this moment, I�ve been running through a couple of thousand lines of codes written by someone else, and it�s driving me mad.

I took some breaks in between the job, rewriting the step outline of Jackson Cleaners, and looking for some stuff to entertain myself. My new found love would be this amazing ebook forum www.koobe.net that has an incredible range of ebooks, especially technical ones. For the past few months I was playing with the beta Flash 8 player and developed some gadgets from a hacked version of Flash 7, and it was fun. Only thing that�s bugging me is Flash 8�s lack of references because it was not officially released until last month.

So, I found this book, first ever on earth that says �Flash 8 Unleashed�, which gave me an orgasm. I found it on koobe.net but it turned out to be a shitty book, which is more or less �Flash 7 Unleashed� + Flash 8 code reference in appendix.

I browsed through the list of fiction and self help books they have. Unfortunately, the fictions didn�t quite interest me, while the self helps are not much of a help for pathetic people like me. Basically, I�m not an intellectual person, cause I don�t read, not that much, you can probably see that from my poor writing. I
find images or moving images to work much better than words, and more efficient, hence a picture tells a thousand words.

Also, I�m not a sucker who happens to read �Da Vinci�s Code�, just because everyone does. Neither do I read �Rich Dad, Poor Dad�, or any of its variations. That�s how pathetic our country is, everyone reads the same old shit their friends recommend.

While browsing through the list, I found this interesting book. I wouldn�t say it�s a good book, because I haven�t even read half of it, and there�s not much books I can compare it to.

Download this e-book, it's free and it�s illegal

EDIT : The password for the rar file is ebooksatkoobe

Not going to mention the title here, since the publishers might be able to find their way here by google, and they might shut down my domain. The book is about how visuals work in different religions, no point for me to tell you more since you can download it and have a look for yourself.

Some points in the book that I ponder upon, lead me to performing a google search and ended up finding this.

I swear I didn�t draw that, haha, really makes me wonder who the hell did that, and his/her intentions.

Alright, back to work.

Ipoh, in the eyes of the Chinese Yakuza!!!

Ipoh, is probably the best place to live in Malaysia.

Ok, I'm being bias since I grew up here, but since I'm back and kickin, I've decided to grab a camera and snap pictures around town. If you're hoping to see Sam Poh Tong, I guess I'll have to dissapoint you, this is Ipoh from the eyes of the Chinese yakuza!!! Haha.

Saw an angel.

Ipoh blue sky.

My secondary school, it is said to be the best school in Ipoh.

The most solid evidence for the previous staement, would be me.

Instead of showing you the main entrance, this is the backdoor of Sam Tet secondary school. Most of you might think this is just another crappy metal gate like any other schools, BUT, for us Sam Tet monks, this gate means a hell lot.

If you haven't climb this gate, then you are not a Sam Tet oldboy.

Another view of our glorious backdoor.

Here's my primary school.

One of the stunning old cinemas of Ipoh. Bloody Iswara spoilt the picture.

And who told you Jackson Cleaners is not based on a true story?

Moving towards another part of town, you should use your hands-free kit when you are driving, but I don't have one for the camera.

Even though Im not a christian, and have no intentions of being one.

But, if one day, probably some divine intervention manages to force me into christianity, this is the only church I want to go to!!! I thought it's the most beautiful church I've seen in this country.

Ok, so I came home, and my dog, to be exact, my sister's dog, saw me with the camera, so she posed.

And, I saw another angel.

There's this myth about two angels appearing in one of the Chinese temples about a hundred years ago, in Ipoh of course, but when I was about to take a picture of the memorial stone, it started raining. Angels in Chinese Temples, such irony, wonder if they were spying.

And, I've figured there's way too many distractions in Ipoh to keep me from work, I guess I'll go back to my place in KL pretty soon.

This is...

This is my story.

My agony. My glory.

My harmony. My tragedy.

My split personality.

what kind of patriot am I?

pa�tri�ot

n. One who loves, supports, and defends one's country.

Around 15 years ago, when I was around 7 or 8, I used to be a little prick who does everything that is politically correct, and does what ever the grown ups say is right. I was a top student in class, as far as I could remember, long before my downfall, because intelligence can only lead you a certain distance, and if you don't fucking work hard, there's no way you could have survived in a so called prestigious school, where every other student is working their asses off day and night, 8 hours of tuition a day just to beat the shit out of you. I was pretty glad for them to beat my crap, but my parents weren't too keen on it.

Anyway, back to when I was 7, that was 1990, I can remember very clearly it was a chinese new year's eve, where one of my cousins of the same age who lives in Kajang, came to visit. He probably was as good in studies, and there was a subtle competition going on beneath the surface.

Someone came out with this question and wanted both of us to answer it:

"What's your favourite country?"

Being a little prick, I volunteered to answer first without a second thought, like most kids who watches American cartoons everyday, you wouldn't hesitate to say USA, since Disneyland is definitely the place to go.

"America", I said

My cousin, held a sincere smile on his face, and went on saying.

"Malaysia"

The adult who asked us the question, rubbed his head, gave him a you-patriotic-little-fuck smile, and didn't give a shit about me anymore.

That very fucking moment, I was stunned, completely, my answer was supposed to impress, but it failed drastically. I remember that feeling of me hating myself for not being patriotic to my own country, and didn't have the slightest thought that my cousin would answer our own country.

Yeh, that was fucking childish, but I'm trying to bring up a point here.

15 years passed, I'm a lifeless fuck, totally dissapointed everyone for what a smart prick I used to be when I was a kid. This promising little young guy who scored As for every single subject in primary school, whom everyone was hoping that he'll turn out to be the next Phd holder of the family, ironically turns out to be a bum, who couldn't even finish his degree in time. Haha. What a plot twist!

Alright, I've lived in this country for 22 years, minus the few years which I couldn't remember a shit, would be more or less 20 years.

Honestly, I love living in this country but I fucking hate the people who runs it.

Why?

Basically I'm the type of person who would fall in love with things that I've spent a very long time with, and talk about natural disasters in my country, there's none. Talk about food, I certainly can't think of a better place. Talk about women, I don't have a fetish for foreigners, so any local will do, haha. Yeh, cars are expensive, but what the hell, not that I can afford them if they were any cheaper.

And come to think of it, lots of retired gwailos(literally translates ghosts or devils in cantonese, but means foreigners with white skin) migrated and lived in malaysia for the remaining bits of their lifes. Tell me why they ain't kickin in the carribeans?

The reason I hate the people who runs it, I have two external links for you, and this entry is very much inspired by them. I don't entirely agree with their personal thoughts but I don't think they lied about a single bit of what happened.

Neo, our local porn king, has his very own intepretation on Symptoms of a Dying Nation.

On the other hand, we have a poor fuck, who got arrested for a positive drug test, after a night out in a pub. I'm not the type of people who enjoy hanging out in night clubs, so personally I think he fucked it up himself, and shouldn't blame anyone for it. Adding to that, having a 5 out of 6 positive drug test, but still remained calm, boy I really wanna know what he was having, if you're reading this, whatever you're getting high on, give me some of that haha. Anyway, here's Ali Baba and His Twenty-One Cellmates, more or less about his experience in jail. Pretty good read I would say.

For my own, I have my Jungle Bunnies and the Script Factory, a metaphor on people who work in the local film and related industry, no, I wouldn't reveal my own intepretation of the story, cause there'll be no fun to it anymore.

Being able to work closely with the ministry and what not, I realised that our country is spending money like mad, which lead me thinking is there possibility of making it back in the near future, or even distant future?

The catchy number 2020, supposed to be the year our country move on into the category of first world nation. Again and again, we've been complaining, there's no fucking way we can move out of third world, if everyone is sticking to their good old third world mentality. I'll be 37 by then, probably if I'm "lucky" enough, I'll be supporting a family, or two.

2020, is only 15 years away, as far as the day when I was 7 and said my favourite country's America. If we continue running our country this way, we'll be in deep shit, we'll be fucked, especially if the oil runs out.

People who worked on that vision will be too fucking old to live to witness it. Damn good planning I would say. But I really do hope one person will live long enough to witness our fall, the mastermind behind it all.

To end it, if, you ask me again, the same old question.

"What's your favourite country?"

I would really like to end this entry with a punchline or something, but I want to answer this question in a very honest manner.

"I have no fucking idea."

Dump the mouse, back to the keyboard

I'm dumping the mouse for a while, not literally of course, just that I won't be able to draw as often as I did.

From now on, I'll be using the keyboard more often, and refering to lots of technical books.

I've got a couple of odd jobs in hand, and would like to complete them as soon as possible, so......

I might not be able to update the blog that often, and Jackson Cleaners part 3 might take a little while before it's ready for release. I have absolutely no idea, who reads my blog, but for those of you who knows nothing about me, I am not an artist, or a production assistant, that kinda explains the lack of professionalism in my artwork.

No, I'm not a yakuza either, don't have the balls, haha.

I'm a programmer, yes, sad fact, I'm a machine operator. I'm an unofficial graduate in IT majoring games design, I do lots of coding, and very little art. I do lots of odd jobs, and they are usually search engine and security related, sometimes flash animations, not that I'm very good at it, but simply because there ain't many people around who does such things.

Also, I'm making a pretty big scale flash game, a personal project. Sad to say, as a games design graduate, I have yet to deliver a complete game, the one's I've done are all in bits and pieces. I know what all of you might think about game developers, most people will think of us as cool people who drives expensive sports cars, dressed to kill, with lots of chicks around, making big bucks and living a trendy lifestyle. The truth is, we're not only far from that, we're the opposite.

Basically, I'm taking up all sorts of odd jobs to avoid starving when I work on my project. I get angry, frustrated and depressed by all sorts of things, but am not very good at expressing it in real life, haha. Lot's of people think of me as a calm person, but it's really not that, I just don't show it, it's people like me who will snap one day, grab a shotgun and start shooting everyone I see on the streets.

Anyway, this is getting long, good training for my keyboard skills though, since I'm gonna need it for the next few weeks, I guess.

love

Love is not a very close friend of mine, she visits once every few years.

Sometimes she stays till dinner, sometimes she drops by to say hi.

Most of the time, we pass each other by, without realizing, in the mist of crowd.

The truth about heroes

In Takeshi Kitano's 1993 feature film, Sonatine, he had this interesting piece of conversation with a girl.

Girl : You're tough. I love tough guys.

Kitano : I wouldn't carry a gun around if I were tough.

Girl : You can shoot without a second thought.

Kitano : I shoot fast because I get scared fast.

Girl : But you're not afraid of dying, are you?

Kitano : When you're scared all the time, you reach a point where you wish you were dead.

Jackson Cleaners : part 2

"Forgive me for my rudeness, I shall introduce myself, my name is Al. I was a little shocked when my plastic bag snapped just now"

"Anyway, I'm a part-time worker for Jackson Cleaners."

"I always knew there's a price to pay for being cool, it's not something everyone could afford."

"Now I know exactly, it's 1000 bucks per body."

"Bob is my boss, he finds every opportunity he could to expand the business, I think he is planning to expand the cleaning company into something big, probably a franchise. Honestly, we are hardly coping with the market demand."

"Wait, there's way too many voice overs, adding to that, we live in a black and white world with limited colours on specific objects, this is becoming way too "Sin City", I guess I'll stop from here."

To be continued : Part 3

Note : The mini van featured as the cleaner's official van, is the Subaru E10, or Domingo, it's a cute little 20 years old van, with a 1000cc engine and more amazingly, it's a four-wheel-drive.

Also, I unintentionally ripped off Sin City's visual, but I will not try to move away from it, and will just tell my story the way it is.

Back to Part 1

Jackson Cleaners : part 1

Note that I nicked the tagline from Mystic River.

To be continued : Part 2

Nothingness

Nothingness, highest form in the understanding of life, the ultimate of Buddhism.

That's the word written on Yasujiro Ozu's grave, the only director/screenwriter who managed to communicate the meaning of life through the subtleness of domestic subjects.

How I see it, life is about letting go, of everything, attachments, emotions, perceptions. So stop giving me that look, when I say "I don't give a fuck".

the programmer

Hammering away on his keyboard through the night like a mad drummer, creating what seems to be a heart pounding rhythm of keystrokes.

The truth is,

He is the conductor, conducting an orchestra of codes, to play a harmonic melody, an unforgettable tune.

Insomnia

When I couldn't sleep, I imagine travelling in a space capsule, forced to hibernate else there wouldn't be enough food and oxygen.

It works, but not today.

quotes, on me

You must be thinking, this guy's some vain asshole, bragging about everything people quoted on him. Well, I admit I can be very vain at times. In fact, I see blogging as a form of self-indulgence in vanity.

"I think he is the most unfortunate guy in Malaysia that witness the darkness of both local movies and game industry"

Exiang, my games design classmate, quoted on me, about my tragic experiences in both industries.

"This statement struck in me coming from a young intelligent Malaysian who's not a Christian in our little interaction on his blog (which I didn't link just in case ...)."

Sivin Kit, some pastor from a Bangsar church I heard, quoted on my entry about Christianity. I'm pretty impressed by his open mind. But again, I think he gave me too little credits, he must have meant "a VERY intelligent young Malaysian", hahaha.

"Imagine my surprise, upon opening the locked door later, to find a long spool of telephone wire tightly taped to the knob in the inside"

"Excellent MacGyver work, Lobak."

Hilmy, also known as Booya King, what I did was helped him lock his office door which is only possible to be locked from the inside, unless you have the keys to it, and obviously I didn't have the keys. Anyway, if you want your kids to be MacGyvers, force them to play some classic LucasArts adventure games.

Haha, you are a smart ass!!!

The next one might be a pretty lousy give away on my "talentless hack", during the cyberwarfare between the Indons and Malaysians. Since, it's been quite a while, I guess there's no harm giving away myself on this.

First, Jeff Ooi called me a script kiddie, because of the JKR repair job I did.

Later, I brought up some retaliation, simply because there were none, I was told that the best Malaysian hackers are teenagers of 17/18 years old, I consider myself a pretty shitty script kiddie, and at that time, they were waiting for their SPM (O level equivalent) results, so I guess they were trying to accumulate some good karma points.

Anyway, Jeff was scared shitless, cause I left his link on the site I defaced.

"I must declare I have nothing to do with this.", he said.

Alright, I must admit, it was my fault to drag people into the situation, so I immediately changed the look of the site, and I think Jeff liked the idea :D.

"I find that the 'cracker', apart from defacing the homepage, had also helped to plug the SQL Injection vulnerability from... further defacement. This is hysterically a royal snub."

"Whoever you are, thank you for saving my arse... my server's arse. Touch wood!"

No prob Jeff, my pleasure, haha.

Read the whole thing here.

mixed feelings

Life is shitty, why live it?

Untitled

It's good to have a blog :)

falling in love with depression

I'm glad that Jungle Bunnies ended, I admit I was a little lazy, so the more recent episodes looked crappier than the old ones. I would like to thank people who followed it.

I was at the awards night yesterday, somehow I didn't have the mood to take pictures. My colleague, Derek was taking a hell lot of them, but he is leaving tomorrow, so I figured I wouldn't have a chance to nick it from him. One of the guys asked me for a favour, to snap his photo with a local celebrity and I think I figured out the exact reason why I didn't take pictures.

No, that's not me on the right, but to make the point, there's basically no point taking pictures with beautiful people, if you are not as beautiful as they are.

Honestly, some of you might not believe me, I'm pretty sick and tired of beautiful people. For those who are curious, I can tell you straight out, the packages that bundles talent with good looks, are limited editions.

To tell the truth, hell knows how long I've been depress, and sometimes come to think of it, I kinda like the feeling, at least when you are depress all the time, you don't fear death. Jungle Bunnies were some form of channeling my energy somewhere else, so that I don't shoot myself in the head.

Another thing is, I figured that most people my age, or at least, my age bracket, are all pretty depressed. Think of it, a salary of 2000 bucks, working 9-5 everyday or more, you don't get to do what you like doing, or simply what you enjoy doing is not recognized. My good friend Luke is a damn good example, he is one of the people you wouldn't want to hand him a shot gun.

There's simply not much motivation in this country for youngsters, old cocks are ripping us off, sitting on their 5-inch thick cushioned Ikea chair, a busty secretary on each lap, air-conditioning at full blast, and making as much money as our annual wage in a month. All they do is pass on subcontracts to assholes like me, pay me some peanuts, and I'll be hammering away in the middle of the night, chewing on instant noodles.

Tell me a reason not to be depressed? Come to think of it, you shouldn't trust me with a shot gun too.

Anyway, my next story's gonna be pretty violent for most people.

Jungle Bunnies and the Script Factory : Final

If you don't know what this is, start reading from part 1

It starts to rain very frequently ever since the day Bak disappeared, flowers and trees grow a lot better than before.

It is strange that, everytime Jet dances, it rains.

Jet feels sorry for Bak, she wish she could have at least shown him one of her dance.

Little that she knows, Bak, has seen her dance, in fact, he never miss any of them.

The End

Back to Part 6

Jungle Bunnies and the Script Factory : part 6

As Bak drowns, his body colour dissolves. Apparently, black is not his original colour but blue, just like water.

Blobs of grease wears off from his body, and as he sinks deeper and deeper, he blends into the water.

Just like any other shitty days, what follows is a bright, sunny and cheerful morning, to start all over again.

The Jungle Bunnies who survived somehow completed their film with the scripts that didn't get washed away. The Foreigners were less fortunate as they both drowned.

The Jungle Bunnies started their own film festivals, awarded themselves with numourous awards, and gained fame and fortune.

Ever since the disaster, the script factory is abandoned, Bak's tulips grew all over the place and it became an ideal place for the Dancers to hold their dance festival.

Jet, looks at one of the painted papers, which reminds her of Bak.

Bak has disappeared ever since that day, rumours has it, he drowned.

Jet hugs the piece of paper, the sky turns dark, and it starts to rain.

As far as Jet could remember, it hasn't rain for a very long time.

To be concluded : Final

Back to Part 5

Jungle Bunnies and the Script Factory : part 5

The Jungle Bunnies were using paper like nobody's business, they had to chop down lots of trees to produce more paper

The trees are delivered to the heat room, the room is so hot and dry, it turns the trees into crispy wood, so it could be easily splitted into thin pieces and later processed into paper.

Bak is in bad mood, sitting on top of the paper processing machine.

While waiting, Bak gets to the other side of the room, where the trees are loaded into the machine, as usual there are Jungle Bunnies fighting each other upstairs.

He intends to water his tulips before it gets too dry, but the water tap simply wouldn't work.

He gets very impatient, he removes an axe attached to the tree trunk, hold it tight with both his hands, raise it up high, and aims for the pipe.

Suddenly, in the heat room, everything turns blue.

The burst of the pipe, brings in a huge current of water, forming a gigantic wave inside the factory.

It washes everything away, machines, papers, tree trunks, flowers, Bak and even the Jungle Bunnies.

To be continued : Part 6

Back to Part 4

Jungle Bunnies and the Script Factory : part 4

The politics in the classroom gets worse, one of the higher authorities tied the Foreigners up and tortures them.

Bak cleans the floor, stained by their blood.

Again, once his job is done, he rushes out to the forest for the dance festival, hoping he can meet Jet again.

He notices some huge foot prints on the grass other than his own grease stains, still he is too happy to worry about them.

It's the factory's harvest robot, the trees are all chopped down by the highly efficient harvesting machine.

Everything is gone, all the preparation, all the decoration, for the dance festival, everything is gone.

Bak : It wasn't my fault, I didn't know.

Jet : I don't feel like talking to you anymore.

Bak : I'm sorry.

Jet : ...

Friendship between Bak and Jet, is gone, just like everything else.

To be continued : Part 5

Back to Part 3

Random thoughts

Bad news, if you've been following Jungle Bunnies and the Script Factory, guess what, tonight i'll be working at the factory again. So won't be able to pump out any new episodes.

Before I head off to work again, here's some random stuff I took to indulge myself before I travel right back to hell, I took them off my lousy piece of camera phone, something that cost me quite a bomb considering the situation I'm in now, nothing I can do, my old phone gave up on me.

Well, here goes.

Boring Stuff
My desk, my table lamp, my right satelite speaker and my alarm clock which doesn't quite work.

Lifeless
I always thought this very dead piece of tree right under the lamp post is an interesting piece of art, but somehow i can never get it right, capturing what i want, my photography skill sucks. Anyway, it's right outside the place I stay, life forms near me don't survive very well.

That's Stitch, its a boinger, if that's what you call it. I boing it whenever I feel like, but I don't do it that much these days.

Kamasutra
That was the only thing I've thought of when I 1st saw this picture, I bet a lot of you dirty minded fellas will think the same.

Alright, I didn't take this picture, I nicked it off somewhere instead. My 15 year old brother gave me all sorts of advice about buying the most expensive phone, and this lousy piece of shit is 3000 bucks.

No, of course I didn't buy the phone, I bought something cheap, you think i stupid or what.

My favourite T-shirt
I don't fucking know what's the problem with a lot of you, it's just a t-shirt, I'm not wearing it to make a statement, it's not like I'll get free sex from people who wear "Just do it". All I can say is, those who were complaining about me wearing this, you're the real losers.

Also, I'm currently looking for the t-shirt that says "eat shit and die".

Nothing else, I guess that's all.

Jungle Bunnies and the Script Factory : part 3

Bak anxiously awaits the moment to get out of this script factory filled with Jungle Bunnies.

He overheard that the best script written by any Jungle Bunnies will be processed into film.

As soon as he finishes his work, Bak gets out of the factory, and helps Jet to decorate the forest for the upcoming dance festival.

Jet : Where are you from?

Bak : I'm from the factory.

Jet : The dance festival is tomorrow, will you come?

Bak : Sure.

Jet waves at Bak, Bak waves back.

Bak : See you tomorrow.

Jet : Bye bye.

Bak sits next to his tulips, as the tap water splashes on them.

Time has never run so slowly, he wishes time could be adjusted just like tap water.

To be continued : Part 4

Back to Part 2

Jungle Bunnies and the Script Factory : part 2

Bak is facsinated by the beauty of the place he had just found. As he drags his feet through the grass, the grease that he carries, for lubricating the machines in the factory, stains everything that he touches. He picks up an orange tulip and sits down under the tree near the slope.

Adding to the pleasure, he sees a bunch of pinkish-purple Dancers surrounding and cheering for the dance performed by two of their people.

He decided to slack off a little from work, to enjoy a place like this where Jungle Bunnies are out of sight.

Time flies, it is already evening.

He quickly gets up and disposes all the waste papers down a cliff, while doing so, he noticed there's someone standing behind him winessing every move he makes.

He turns his head around, and he sees a girl, also in a very rare colour like himself, she's in light pink. She asks him if she could have a few pieces of the paper for their coming dance festival.

Bak is relieved as he thought he was caught red handed contaminating the place.

Bak : Here you go.

Girl : Thank you.

Bak : Welcome, what's your name anyway?

Girl : Im Jet.

Bak is done for the day, he reluctantly returns to the factory to get some rest, now he has something to look forward to everyday.

Oh ya, he brought back some souvenior as well.

To be continued : Part 3

Back to Part 1

Jungle Bunnies and the Script Factory : part 1

Not so long ago, there's a young guy named Bak, he is black in colour, black is a very unique colour which not many people has, despite having a unique colour, like most people, he doesn't know what to do with his life.

He works in a script factory, where thousands of papers are produced, and then gets written. His work is repeatative, all he does is operate machines by turning them on and off, he has no creative contribution to the factory.

On the other side of the factory, there are some brown people called "Jungle Bunnies", they are the people who does all the writing to the papers.

The Jungle Bunnies realized their limitation in paper writing, so they hired the grey Foreigners to teach them how to write.

The Jungle Bunnies are not the smartest bunnies on earth, their writings are all rejected by the Foreigners, till a mountain of worthless written papers stacks up in the classroom.

Soon, the Jungle Bunnies reveal their true colours, they are such assholes selfish people, they are more concern of their own agendas than anything else. Some started worshiping the Foreigners, some gets jealous, while some are not too happy about what's going on.

Politics is going on everywhere, a simple process of teaching and learning turns in to a great mess.

Poor Bak has to clean it up for them.

Bak has to dispose the mess into the woods where he has never been before, simply because before the Foreigners arrived, none of the papers were rejected.

To his surprise, the forest is simply breathtaking, like nothing he has ever seen.

To be continued : Part 2

what i understand of christianity

I would like to clarify, I ain't no christian, and I understand that we should intepret the bible as far as our intellectual allow us to. Therefore, what I am going to write is purely my intepretation on Christianity, or what I understand from the bible.

In the beginning, there's this guy, and there's nothing else, we call him God, some said we are not suppose to visualize his appearance because we shouldn't idolize. But, most people will think he is an old guy in his 60s or 70s, usually dressed in white, has this huge chunk of white beard, and doesn't wear glasses. Thanks to Michaelangelo i suppose to provide us with a clear picture of how he look like.

However, recently some of the scientists figured that the first human has to be a negro, and God created Adam according to his own appearance. So, it seems like God is more likely to be a nigga than a white guy. Not trying to be racist here, but i guess it explains all the deep shit we're in. Being as scientific and logical as they could be, Hollywood bunked in the bandwagon in believing God to be a nigga, so they started to make believe that God looks something like Morgan Freeman. And, he replies prayers through e-mail, but to encourage conventional praying, his e-mail address is not revealed.

Then, the story goes on, God created a whole bunch of stuff, such as the laws of physics, grass, flowers, clouds, water and trees. I was about to say apple, but at the very moment i was going to type apple, i recalled that it was Satan who created apple. Oh ya, Satan is like one of the angels created by God, but he rebelled in order to have his own kingdom. Angels are like some free labour for God, they have wings and halo. Why did they work for free? Just think of Willy Wonka and his Ooompa Loompas, in terms of God being Willy Wonka and the angels being ooompa loompas. So, Satan is like a rebel oompa loompa, which didn't happen in the chocolate factory, I assume Willy Wonka has better management skills since he is white, again, not trying to be racist here.

God

Angel and Satan

Just like the Oompa Loompa, Satan usually appear in red.

Like I mentioned earlier, God created someone called Adam according to his own appearance, and someone called Eve to bug Adam. And told them not to fall for Satan's trick, but somehow Satan created an apple, and seduced them to eat it. And also somehow it is not quite right to eat the apple, so they had to be punished, which sorta explains the trouble we're in now. Because we're all decendants of Adam and Eve, instead of evolving from monkeys.

Anyway, God chased both of them away from their hometown, and called them sinners. But they still have a chance to return to God and gain forgiveness for their sins, the trick is to kill a sheep, shed it's blood to claim forgiveness. But, somehow i don't think they do that anymore.

I'm going to skip Moses and Abraham because im not quite sure about them.

About two thousand and five years ago, someone named Jesus came along. He worked full time as a carpenter, and part time as a saviour, just like Brian, in Monty Python's Life of Brian. Anyway, he claimed that he came to save the sheeps of the house, so i guess he was being sympathetic over sheeps being killed, therefore he changed the rules and condition for forgiveness. Oh ya, he also claimed that he is the son of God.

Up till this part, I would like to introduce two of my favourite movies about Jesus Christ himself.

The first one's Monty Python's Life of Brian. Oh well, I think it's not exactly about Jesus Christ, but what might be interesting is, Brian's life is exactly like Jesus, except that he didn't get as much publicity as Jesus did. And it also examines the cults during Jesus' time and a lot of their leaders are like Jesus as well, I am quite amazed by how people live the same life back then. By the way, they were all crucified. Again, just like Jesus, I really wonder why they didn't get the publicity.

Then, there's this other film, The Last Temptation of Christ, which is about the final moment of Jesus Christ, when he was crucified, nailed up on the cross, and there's nothing he could do. Then came this little girl who claimed to be an angel sent down by his father, but little that Jesus know she is actually the Red Oompa Loompa himself. Anyway, she showed Jesus to a secluded village and told him that he is given a chance to live a normal man's life again. So he married Magdalene and lived his life till the end, and realized the whole thing is just a temptation setup by the Red Oompa Loompa, so he gave it up and popped back to the crucifiction.

I liked the movie a lot, but most of my christian friends said they didn't like it because William Dafoe who played Jesus looked very evil. I guess its true, kids might just mistook Jesus for Green Goblin.

Talking about crucifiction, there was this very interesting arguement about what if Jesus made a second coming and is killed in modern days. Since everyone is wearing crosses as a status of being christian. What if he is sentenced on an electric chair? or hanged like the modern day death penalty criminals? Christians will be wearing electric chairs. Just a thought anyway, I read it somewhere and I couldn't remember where.

What if? : Christians

But, frankly, by today's standards, if Jesus ever perform a second coming.......

Anyway, after his crucifiction, we're all saved. Thank God, and Jesus. I'm glad that I could understand so much of Christianity, and do correct me if im wrong. Amen.

Life is so full of shit

Life is so full of shit, i decided to write down exactly what sorts of shit i've been thru in my life.